Q&A Forum - February 2019
Q. Dear Ms Sutton: I came across a Newsweek article from several years ago, the author talks about how boys are falling farther and farther behind girls in terms of standardized test scores and academic achievements. The author presents overwhelming statistical data in proving this point, but in my mind missed the mark in terms of the importance of the data. What I find most important is that given we have reached a time in our society in which men and women have generally equal access to quality education, we see that given an equal playing field girls will far out perform boys academically, which leads me to the conclusion that as a grand whole, the female gender is intellectually superior to the male.
Now having said that however, I believe it also important to note that there are many intelligent men in the world and many women who are not, but such individual examples do nothing to refute the overwhelming evidence found in this article and others which shows that women are generally more intelligent. To me the articles' author's failure to mention this point was likely the result of not wanting to say something that would be considered politically incorrect in the current age of egalitarian utopianism that our society is still vainly trying to achieve.
I believe our society's educators should spend less time worrying on how to get males to catch up with females intellectually, and spend more time cultivating the minds of the most gifted intellectually (Both Women and men) and work on maximizing their potential abilities to become tomorrows leaders in their various fields of interest. I think as young people reach adulthood our secondary schools and colleges should examine the strengths and weakness of all their students and try and steer them to occupations in which their strengths lay. Of course this will likely mean that ultimately the majority of Women will find themselves directed into white collar fields and with that will have superior incomes and positions of authority than the majority of men who would likely be directed into more blue collar, service oriented professions. As a man I see nothing wrong with this as I believe when we have this we will have a society that's maximizing its productivity by each of its members' focus being on enhancing our God given strengths.
The fact this process would ultimately lead to a society that is vastly ran and controlled by Women is not something that should be feared but rather embraced, as I believe it will be for the betterment of all humanity, as all it's parts will be synchronized most effectively. Women, simply put, have better leadership skills and should generally be our society's leaders, to me nothing could be more obvious.
Also, don't you think it's time the subject of Female Superiority was talked about openly in our mainstream media outlets, given all the empirical evidence? Do you share my belief that the current politically correct egalitarian mindset of the media and academia is preventing this subject from being broached? Would love your thoughts!
A. The media and academia has been talking at great length about female superiority in the classroom and how this is affecting society both now and in the future. They try to steer away from using terms like “superiority” or “supremacy” in an attempt to be politically correct, and I might add that this restraint is a reflection of female influence. Let me explain.
Terms like “superiority”, “supremacy” and to a lesser extent, “dominance”, are male terms that have a certain male connotation. As I have explained a number of times, I use the terms “female domination”, “female supremacy” and “female superiority” because of the power of these words on the male psyche. These words are trigger phrases that touch the submissive nature of man.
When classifying this lifestyle, women seem to prefer “loving female authority”. Men seem to prefer “female domination”. The reason men like “female domination” and “female superiority” is because of the sexual power of those terms. Words like superiority and supremacy are masculine words, terms of war, terms of conquest. When you put the word “female” in front of those words, the male mind knows what this means. It means women conquering men, women dominating men, women being victorious over men and this is pleasing to the submissive nature of man. The male submissive nature finds such words and phrases to be sexually arousing, intellectually exciting and spiritually satisfying.
Women are different and that is one of the reasons they make better leaders. Men see conflicts as being resolved when there is a winner and a loser. Women, by nature, prefer a win/win scenario. Women still want to win but they will try to achieve victory in a peaceful manner where no one is hurt or destroyed.
So lets bring this back to your question. In academia, they are trying to evaluate the overwhelming achievement of women in the classroom, as well as the negative side of this which is men falling further behind. Women have sons so they do not want to see men fall behind, thus the female influence over these studies and media reports is to try to relate the facts without putting men down. The male influence over these reports no doubt is to protect the male ego but most women do not gloat (and I emphasize the word most because some women do rejoice in the superiority of women) but are genuinely concerned about men falling behind. Once again, women are seeking a win/win scenario where women can continue to excel while men also achieve. This to me is the ultimate display of female superiority, not so much in the achievement but in the female response of trying to help the men who are falling behind.
This is so very critical because the male ego does not understand this aspect of the female nature. When these reports come out in the media (like the Newsweek article) the male ego becomes offended and threatened because it makes the assumption that women are wired the same as men. I get letters all the time from men who keep telling me that power will corrupt women and that women will ultimately mistreat men the same way men mistreated women when men were in control. While it is true that some women will misuse their power (all human-beings are flawed) the majority of women will not because of the feminine nature. Why do you think women prefer “loving female authority” over “female domination”? It is because women want it to be known that their rule will be guided by compassion.
In the past five years there have been hundreds of media reports about women flexing their intellectual muscles in the classroom and in the workplace. The evidence is undeniable. The ironic element to this is that whenever you read a report that uses this data and interprets it to mean that men are becoming less relevant or less necessary, most of the time these pessimistic articles are written by men. The reason for this is because the male submissive nature likes it. The male submissive nature loves it when they read about women being the superior sex. Women find such reports to be socially exciting and intellectually satisfying but few women view it as “hooray, our team is winning!”
In contrast, the submissive nature of man finds such reports to be arousing, powerful, mentally pleasing, with a view of “hooray, our team is losing to women!” Such media reports feed the submissive nature of man, thus making that nature grow stronger which will have the effect of insuring that men fall even further behind. What these articles fail to understand as they try to analyze the trends and the data about female intellectual superiority is the male submissive nature. And in this you are totally correct, far too often people try to construct a means that will ensure equity and balance when the fact is that societal evolution is a complex system, not linear, thus you cannot obtain a desired result simply by tweaking numbers as if you were working with a mathematical formula.
In this regard, men understand what these statistics mean even more so than women do. The one losing power and control recognizes the reality of what is happening sooner than the one gaining power and control. Women know society is changing but they are slower to grasp the meaning due to a generational societal perspective that men are still in charge. And men are still in charge when you look at who holds the majority of power positions within our institutions. But men are losing power with each generation and they can sense it and they are starting to see the effects of women gaining power and influence. Female superiority in the classroom is translating to female superiority in the business and political worlds. This trend will continue, generation by generation, as society evolves.
As women gain more power and more influence, the vision you outline in your question will begin to materialize. With women in charge, they will encourage achievement by both women and men because they will be seeking that win/win scenario. Men will not become second-class citizens because women will not allow that. Men will fall further behind and women will become the dominant sex (they already are in many relationships). However, women will ensure that men have access to the same opportunities as women. I know the submissive nature of man likes to fantasize that society will become like one of those Sci-Fi movies where all men are the slaves to women. That is the male mind. The reality will be based on the female mind and the female mind is full of compassion, looking for those win/win scenarios for the common good. Thank you for the great question.
Q. Dear Ms Elise, First off, you have a wonderful site. I've read it periodically for a few years now and always find it to be intelligent, thoughtful, and provoking. You’ve done an excellent job.
Recently you fielded a question in your Q&A forum by a gentleman inquiring “Why are males driven by a much greater sex drive than women?” to which your response was simple: procreation. Once again, I think you are dead on with this. I strongly believe in evolution and that the innate drives it has instilled in us drive us still today. I’ve thought about this very topic in the past and this is what I reasoned out.
A few years ago a female friend of mine posed the question to me “Why are men always horny?” After thinking about it, I reached the answer “Because we had to be”. Thousands of years ago as humans were evolving the survival of the species was of the utmost importance. Women are only capable of getting pregnant on certain days throughout the year. To compensate for this the male must always be ready for sex. If the male was only interested in sex part of the time, then the chances of a successful conception would be small. Thus, those males that desired sex all the time passed on their genes and, over thousands of years that quality became instilled in the male members of our species.
Now fast forward to the world today. In most cases in Western countries men and women consensually agree upon sex rather than it occurring by way of force, as it almost certainly did on the African plains thousands of years ago. Via contraception women or couples can also have control over when to bear children. So society has changed – the survival of the species is no longer an issue. However that innate and constant desire for sex is still drilled into the male brain at birth. All a woman has to do is decide to turn it around and use it to her advantage. Oh, how we need our precious orgasm. And the lengths to which we’ll go for those few moments of pleasure. And interestingly, it doesn’t stop with just pure orgasm. There is an extreme psychological pleasure associated with being inside of and climaxing in a woman that masturbation cannot duplicate. So, interestingly, what had originated as a means to ensure survival of the species seems to have become our greatest weakness.
Your website is filled with examples of this. Take cuckolding, for example. In this case a woman has such control over her husband – often gained by controlling his orgasms – that he will willingly consent to the humiliating (and incredibly hot, I might add) act of not only being denied the pleasure he wants the most, but watching his wife engage in the very act with another man. And she not only does this, but often flaunts it in front of him and uses it to exploit that inherent weakness even more. There is an incredible amount to be learned about the male psyche here (and the female psyche, I suppose), and I applaud you and others on your website for recognizing this and not simply labeling those that engage in such acts as ‘deviants’ the way much of society would.
This brings me to my question. I believe that large-scale societal trends take a very long time to become accepted and mature – often longer than a typical human lifespan. African-American and Women’s Rights are examples of this. It’s been over a hundred years for both of those movements and they’re still fighting battles in this country. If this trend of female superiority is indeed a societal trend, how long will it be before it is understood in the mainstream? Your website very well documents examples of this in the world today, but what will the world be like 50, 100, 200 years from now?
A. Thank you for the excellent and thought-provoking question. I mentioned above how societal evolution is a complex system. As human-beings, we are predisposed to study most systems as if they were linear, that is to say mathematical. A linear system is the rotation of the earth, the distance of the moon and the ability to launch a rocket to land on the moon. A complex system is a human-being and being able to predict the choices that a human-being will make when you change his or her environment. You can’t predict it with any degree of certainty because people are complex and one person will choose a different path than another person, even when given the same parameters.
Therefore, we do not know with certainty what the world will be like in 50, 100 or 200 years from now. However, we can view trends and we can see where society has been, where it is today and where it is headed based on the trends that we see today. We know that society is evolving and that the patriarchal ways are passing away and that women are becoming empowered.
It began as a drive for equality for women. A noble endeavor for any society but once the Genie was let out of her bottle, a funny thing happened. Women did not flounder or struggle as men had predicted. Women excelled from grade school to higher education. And this happened in a shockingly short period of time. Now societal architects are trying to figure out how to swing the pendulum back the other way and help the males to gain equality in the classroom. But this is proving to be more difficult due to the complexity of the female nature and the male nature. Thus we are left with realization that it was not societal architects that empowered women (as some claim) but rather Nature herself. Nature is empowering the female and causing the male to desire to be in submission and as you so wisely point out, what was once a male strength (the sex drive) is now a male weakness. Men have always viewed their sex drive as a sign of strength but now the submissive nature of man has found its release and its expression through the male sex drive, thus empowering women.
At the same time, women are discovering their sex drive and coming into the knowledge that perhaps sex is not merely for procreation (as the Patriarchy had preached) but sex is about the female and the female’s pleasure. And not just the female but the mature female as women come into their sexual prime past what most consider child bearing years. With that scientific data now available, one has to come to the conclusion that sex is not just about procreation, otherwise women would come into their sexual prime at a younger age.
So we can conclude that for men, sex is about procreation because the male sex drive coincides with the female child bearing years. But for women, sex is not about procreation because women come into their sexual prime after their child bearing prime. This opens up all kinds of new possibilities for society as society continues to evolve. Will older women date younger men with more frequency in the future? Will cuckolding become more prevalent within marriage with each new generation? Will the male submissive nature cause more men to introduce women to the FemDom lifestyle and a D&S sexuality? And as women become more empowered across all areas of society, will they become more enthused about embracing the FemDom lifestyle and a D&S sexuality? I think we are seeing the beginning of all of this with this current generation and these things will become more prevalent with each new generation.
However, my opinion is based on examining societal trends and we are talking about complex systems and therefore we do not know for sure what the world will be like in 100 years. But I think it is safe to make the forecast, based on the trends, the future is going to be female. Nature seems to be steering us in that direction. Take care.
Q. Dear Ms Sutton, I came across a link to your site in a newsgroup, and it directed me to the section of raising children in a Female Dominated household. I think your advice about teaching by example is absolutely on-target. Children rarely do what parents say, but they will do what parents do. They watch your every move. It's a basic principle of leadership, "Model the behavior you wish your followers to adopt."
When people ask me who my female role models are I respond that one of them is my dad. My dad was a blue-collar worker with a typical "macho" job. He and my mother had the typical 1950's relationship where dad worked, and mom stayed home and took care of the house and kids. I am certain that my dad was not subservient to my mother, except by choice. It was obvious that he loved her, and always treated her with respect.
Naturally, another great female role model in my life is my wife. She is also a product of the 1950's where good Catholic girls were expected to follow in their mother's footsteps: graduate high school, get a job as a secretary, bank teller or nurse (my wife is the latter), get married, and procreate more Catholics.
It was my wife's father who had the larger impact on her life. He had three daughters and encouraged them to be active in sports. When my wife came in from the street dirty and scarred from playing stickball with the boys (she was a powerful hitter), he'd ask how many hits she got. He also insisted that each of his girls get an education. All three of them went on to college.
The final female role model in my life is my older sister. As older siblings go, she wasn't too bossy. She was a very active girl and would be constantly in trouble if my parents didn't keep close tabs on her. As a result, I got to do a lot of things while my parents were distracted by her.
I wound up marrying a woman who was very independent. It gives me great pride and comfort that she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but chooses to put up with me. She is aggressive, but not dominant. Some men with whom she has worked asked me, "How do you put up with her?" to which I respond, "I seem to be man enough to handle her."
We have the ideal relationship in that each of us is firmly convinced that he or she has the "better" end of the deal. She may not be dominant, but I treat her as though she was. She is my world. I could get along without her, but life is so much more fun with her.
We have come full cycle. We have two boys. They have observed our relationship for over 30 years now. One of them is married. Our daughter-in-law is independent, intelligent, and self-assured. My son respects her a lot.
A final word, I do not believe in female supremacy nor any other supremacy based on genetics. I do believe that men have the right to choose to treat women as if they were superior. No one is superior by birth. Everyone brings gifts to this world. The superior ones share these gifts.
Thank you for a great web site. With a vast wasteland of smut and sleaze out there, it's nice to find the occasional oasis of sensibility.
A. Thank you for those nice words. You are truly a blessed man in so many aspects of your life. You were raised by wonderful parents who set a great example for you to follow, you married a wonderful woman whom you love and serve, and you have raised two wonderful sons. I hope you get up every morning and thank God for all the blessings you have received in life.
Parents do pass down to their children their values and children receive those values by observing their parents and copying their actions. The words of parents who lecture kids to live a certain way, yet do not live that way in their own lives, will ring hollow and be empty. Your father’s example of being devoted to your mother and encouraging her independence had such an affect on you that you sought out a woman who was similar to your mother (and sister). You witnessed the harmony and love in your home and you were wise to want that for your own marriage. And that same model has been passed down to your sons, thus the cycle continues.
Genetics do play a role. Genetics are very complex but children inherit personality traits and even certain behavioral habits from their parents, grand-parents, great grand-parents and so forth. And those traits and habits can be positive or negative. That is why no one should ever take being a parent lightly. Your actions today will affect your children, their children and on into future generations.
That is one of the reasons why some people really struggle with the Female Domination lifestyle or even the concept of FemDom. A patriarchal mindset has been passed down from generation to generation. Women have been told they are second-class citizens and should be in submission to men for centuries and this societal outlook has been passed down to generation after generation. But once that cycle is broken, then a different mindset can begin to work its way into the consciousness of society. We are beginning to see that now.
The males in your family are to be praised because while your father lived during the 1950’s when opportunities for women, even educated women, were greatly limited, he still chose to treat her as a superior woman and I am sure she expected nothing less than his utmost respect and devotion because her father had instilled in her that she was worthy of a man’s respect. It was no accident that your mother chose to marry a man such as your father.
As society continues to evolve, your wife had more opportunities than your mother and now your daughter-in-law has more opportunities to express her dominance and independence than your wife. A woman no longer has to be a secretary or a nurse (although there is nothing wrong with those very important careers) and society more freely accepts women being aggressive and dominant. What the women in your life all share is that they are married to men who are devoted to them and who treat them like Queens, and this will continue to be passed down from generation to generation, which will foster more dominant traits in the women in your family with each new generation.
Female Superiority is not about women believing they are better than men (read my article on why I use that term, it has nothing to do with female arrogance but everything to do with the submissive nature of man and what that term signifies to him). Female Superiority is about loving relationships where a man, of his own freewill, chooses to worship, revere, adore and submit to the woman in his life. Best wishes.
Q. Ms. Sutton, when I was an adolescent we called it “popping a boner.” I popped a boner when I saw petty pants peeking below the hem of a pretty girl’s skirt (petty pants were all the rage in those days). I popped a boner just thinking about all those petty pants beneath the skirts of all those girls in Junior High. I popped a boner over how my hot, seventh grade English teacher’s breasts caused her blouses to gap at the buttons. I even popped a boner in woodshop while sweeping up saw dust and imagining what the nipples on those fine breasts might look like.
Today I am blessed to have a beautiful woman in my life who is my wife and Goddess. She often wears thongs, which are so much sexier than petty pants on a giggling teenager. So do I pop a boner when I see the back of her thong showing above the waistband of her jeans? She rarely wears a garment that buttons in the front because invariably her large breasts cause it to gap across the front. Do I pop a boner when I see that? How about when I think about her soft, voluptuous… umm, by now you’re probably getting the idea that no, I don’t pop a boner. Surely my Goddess deserves it, and God knows I really really WANT to, but these days, the words pop and boner are mutually exclusive. Coax a boner is more like it.
It’s a psychological reality that male sexual performance declines with age, to the point where many middle-aged men would rather face a double bogey on the 18th hole than risk not sinking a “hole-in-one” in the bedroom. Thanks to ubiquitous ads for Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, erectile dysfunction has become almost fashionable. They’ve helped scores of men to identify with one another on a base, more human level, which seems to be something that comes naturally among women, but not men. And the drugs themselves have helped many a man emerge from the humiliating shadow of not being able to rise to the occasion and given
him an opportunity to “feel like a man” again. I know this from first-hand experience.
But as Shakespeare once said, “Therein lies the rub.” Pharmaceuticals can certainly be a good thing, but in this case, I sometimes wonder if it’s all good. The advertising messages for impotency drugs seem to promote traditional if not macho thinking: the way a real man satisfies and brings a smile to a woman’s face is by screwing her ever-lovin’ brains out. So I wonder why more isn’t being written about this in FemDom literature. It seems to me that entire chapters should be dedicated to how waning male sexual performance and ED dovetail perfectly with FemDom philosophy. I see it as one of the most compelling arguments for adopting a Female Domination lifestyle within a marriage, particularly among middle-age couples.
I would dearly appreciate hearing your take on this.
A. While I didn’t devote entire chapters to this subject, I did touch on it my book, “Female Domination”, as I shared the story of Charles and his wife and how she took his impotency and turned it into a positive FemDom experience for the both of them. The great thing about D&S is that it is a sexuality of the mind so even if the body does not function like it once did, the mental stimulation can bring about much excitement and fulfillment.
I tend to agree with the premise of your question. As a society, we are overly medicated and we seek out drugs for fast solutions to physical challenges or deficiencies. The result of this is a health care system that is spiraling out of control as Pharmaceutical companies make billions. If you go to a Doctor and she says you can change your diet or change your lifestyle and that might correct the problem over time OR you can take this drug, most people will choose the drug. After all, changing ones diet or lifestyle is much more difficult.
On the other hand, some drugs are the basis of wisdom gained over many years in how to improve the quality of life for people. I always seek natural solutions prior to pharmaceutical solutions, be it herbs, vitamins, diet, etc. Then there is the medicine of the mind, the power of ones attitude. And there are times when prescription drugs are the best solution.
As far as the FemDom elements of ED and/or the diminished sex drive in men as they mature, that is the way of nature. Men can fight it, deny it and try to change it but it is a battle they will ultimately lose because nature has set her course in this area. It does seem to me that the men who accept this reality and who let go of their macho ways and instead embrace a lifestyle of sex being about the woman and her pleasure, these men seem to find the most satisfaction and fulfillment; mentally, emotionally and sexually.
Perhaps nature is trying to free men from their macho ways and overly masculine thought patterns through the biological reality of a diminished ability to be sexually macho as they age. Men place far too much emphasis on their penis and men place far too much of their self-worth in their ability to have sexual conquests. Nature has an effective way to humble these men which forces them to focus on other aspects of the female/male relationship and other aspects of sex.
The drugs do provide a way for these men to hold onto that aspect of their “manhood” but even at that, some men find it embarrassing to admit they have to use drugs in order to perform sexually, thus that in itself can be a humbling experience and a blow to the male ego.
My feeling on the use of these drugs is that it should be up to the woman. That gives the woman the power. If she wants her man to use these drugs so it will enhance her sexual experience, then I think that is wonderful. But if a woman would rather limit their use or even forbid their use, then the man should accept that and submit to that decision as well. Once again, the woman has the power.
One final thought here, it has been my experience (and based on the letters I receive the experience of many other couples) that the Female Domination lifestyle has the wonderful benefit of helping men to experience a renewed sexual excitement, including helping some men overcome ED. The mind is powerful and the intensity of some D&S activities can trigger an intense sexual arousal that can assist the body. The result is some men have an easier time gaining an erection when they are participating in FemDom and D&S activities within the bedroom. I have received letters from women talking about how their husbands have been like young men again since they began to explore this lifestyle together, but with the added benefit that the woman is in charge. So perhaps instead of running to the Doctor or the Druggist, why not give D&S a try? It may or it may not help with ED, but at the very least it should make sex fun and exciting again. Take care!
Q. Dear Ms Sutton, Two months ago my wife and I tried the FemDom lifestyle for a few weeks. She's naturally dominant and I've had submissive tendencies all my life. There was so much peace and harmony in the house. Unfortunately, after we tried it out we encountered four major obstacles:
1) Since the relationship entails bringing more sexual energy into the relationship my wife complained that I was too interested in sex, that my whole life had become about sex, and that it's all I could think about. Yes it was true.
2) I wasn't able to maintain a proper erection in order to give her satisfactory pleasure. I'm a healthy 29 year old man who normally has no problem, but once I became extremely submissive I just couldn't get it up and if I did, I'd have a premature ejaculation. My wife became very frustrated at my inability to please her in this way.
3) I noticed that many (although certainly not all) websites discussing female led marriage discuss cuckoldry. Once I discovered my own inability to please my wife and her disappointment I started to understand why. I know for certain that is a line I don't want to cross and I'm afraid that if we continued with a female led marriage, and my inability to maintain erection, I could easily end up getting excited by the idea and wanting to introduce her to it.
4) I started losing my drive in life and my ability to think for myself. I get such joy out of saying "yes dear" to everything my wife tells me that I found myself beginning to stop thinking for myself. I also noticed my level of drive had dropped.
I discussed these concerns with my wife and we both agreed that although we ABSOLUTELY LOVED the loving female authority dynamic that this was too high a price to pay. As a result we had to decide not continue the trial.
I'm still interested in making it work, but we both have the concerns listed above. Have you come across these concerns before and do you know how to address any of them?
A. I will be addressing the power of the mind in more detail in the entry that follows, but it seems your situation has some contradictions.
First, let me say that I am pleased to hear that your brief experiment with Female Domination produced peace and harmony in your home. Which leads to the question, why would you stop? Like any worthwhile endeavor, there will be ups and downs and some challenges but if this lifestyle was bearing the fruit of peace and harmony for you and your wife, I cannot understand why you would stop after only a few weeks? Be that as it may, let’s take a look at your concerns.
You say you are twenty-nine and are attracted to the concept of FemDom, which makes you sexually excited to the point that your wife wants you to tone it back a little. Yet, you are having some difficulties getting it up? Furthermore, you have no trouble becoming erect when you are in a vanilla relationship, yet you are having difficulty when she dominates you, even though you are excited about being dominated. That seems to be a contradiction. I don’t doubt what you say but I am just trying to reason through your situation. I can only make the assumption that this is due to a mental block caused by how you perceive her attitude. Not necessarily her attitude, but rather how you perceive her attitude.
You then say that when you do become erect, you have difficulty with premature ejaculation. This I understand and that makes more sense because you are experiencing a sexual excitement you have never known before and you are so excited that you cannot maintain focus and thus you are overcome with sexual excitement, hence the premature ejaculation.
So your second point makes sense and is common and the answer to that of course is for your wife to channel sexual activities away from your pleasure and your stimulation and over more to her pleasure and her stimulation. If you have read my site you know the kinds of activities I am talking about, pampering her, orally serving her, perhaps the use of toys like dildos and vibrators that you can use on her, and activities along those areas that place the focus and the attention on her. That may add to your excitement, which is good, and she can then channel your excitement into serving her outside the bedroom. So she just needs a change of plan and she needs to make a few adjustments.
But getting back to your difficulty with achieving an erection when she dominates you, that could be a mental block on your part. It could be that you are having difficulty viewing her in the dominant role (due to your upbringing or your societal outlook) or perhaps she is not as enthusiastic about D&S in the bedroom as you are and you perceive that she is not as “into it” as you are which effects your ability to become erect. If she is complaining that you are overly consumed with sex, then that tells me that she might feel the Female Domination lifestyle is all about you. How you can change this is to make it all about her. Let her call the shots and allow her to decide when any D&S or sexual activities will occur, and what those activities will consist of.
Your third point about cuckolding really does not apply to you because I doubt if your wife is interested in that. You might be, but it seems you should work on the fundamentals of serving your wife. All other things will take care of themselves in due course.
I am not discounting your observation about how some couples evolve into a cuckolding lifestyle over time as the woman gains more power and the man becomes more submissive, but this is not your relationship at this time. A few weeks are simply not long enough to “try” this lifestyle. It takes a commitment and then a follow-through to that commitment, with plenty of exploration and communication in order to experience growth. You both need to give it more time.
And that brings us to your fourth point. There could be many reasons you feel as if your personal drive is diminishing. That brings me back to the mental realm. You say that you kind of surrender your drive with a “Yes, Dear!” mentality. What are we talking about here, your male ego or your performance in your career? It seems you have the cart before the horse. What if your wife said, “I want you to excel on your job.” Would you say, “Yes, Dear!” and obey her?
Could it be that you got your hopes up that your wife was going to embrace this lifestyle but as she asks questions (a natural occurrence) or as she critiques certain aspects of your submission, you have become a little disappointed? Or could you be having difficulty perceiving her in the dominant role, which leads to an internal struggle within yourself?
If you told me that she was dominating you beyond what you wanted or if you told me that she had grown so much in her dominance that you were having trouble pleasing her or that you enjoyed being in subspace so much that you had trouble dealing with life outside the boundaries of your FemDom relationship, then I would be inclined to think your lack of drive was related to your involvement with the Female Domination lifestyle. But you have only been at this for a few weeks and it doesn’t sound as if your wife is taking you to places you don’t want to go. Could it be that this short experiment was all about you and she was going along just to please you? It seems unusual for her to so easily agree to end your FemDom experiment if she was enjoying it as much as you say.
This lifestyle should motivate you outside the home because you want to please your wife in all areas of your life. What goes on in the bedroom should motivate you outside the bedroom. That is where the discipline comes in. A weekly discipline session could do wonders as she evaluates your performance of the past week and motives you for the week ahead.
My advice would be that you both give it another go, but that you both relax and have fun with it. That is they key, have fun. Make your wife your focus. You are going to be excited and she needs to channel your excitement into service. Work on how you perceive her. You might be having difficulty in submitting to her in some areas, which she can sense, which can bring just enough stress into the situation to take away from the enjoyment and the power of FemDom. Communicate with each other and don’t jump too far ahead in your thinking. You already have her cuckolding you and you have only been at this for a few weeks. Make a commitment to this lifestyle and take it a day at a time. Make her the focus and then the power exchange can occur.
You had a taste of the peace and harmony this lifestyle can bring into your marriage. Now you need to relax and allow nature to take her course, and it all begins by a reality based FemDom relationship. Your wife cannot be the fulfillment of your fantasies because that will be short-loved. But she can become the focal point of your life as you strive to serve her. So get back on the horse and this time put that horse in front of the cart. Make this lifestyle all about your wife and you just may find that she gives you the motivation that you need. I do wish you both the best.
Q. Dear Ms Sutton, I would like to hear your opinion of the following article:
Say "erectile dysfunction" these days, and the response is likely to be "Viagra." Such is the power of advertising. But there was a time, not that long ago, when psychotherapy was the mainstay of treatment for what was then known as "impotence." Has it become outdated or irrelevant?
It shouldn't be, say the New England Research Institutes. In a study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, the Watertown, Mass.-based organization analyzed nearly 800 men of whom more than 160 had erectile dysfunction, and found that men who are submissive are much more likely to develop erectile dysfunction than those who are not -- and that problem can't be cured by the little blue pill.
Regardless, psychologists say they are feeling the pinch of the Viagra revolution. "There's a very significant drop in the number of men who come into a therapist now for ED [erectile dysfunction]," says Paul Tobias, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica, Calif. "Their primary response is to see an internist and get Viagra prescribed -- or not prescribed. As a psychologist, this [seems like] you deal with the symptom, not the cause. It's very easy to use a Band-Aid -- but quite often it doesn't take care of the root cause."
But even Tobias admits that Viagra can sometimes be the answer even when a psychological problem is the primary cause of a failed erection. Take the case of a man with performance anxiety -- perhaps the most common psychological cause of erectile dysfunction. If you increase performance by prescribing Viagra, then the anxiety part of the equation disappears.
But, Tobias says, Viagra is not a fix-all -- perhaps especially when the problems involve younger men. "Younger couples need to work with someone because the issues are quite often buried -- issues of power, dominance, virility. Often ED is just a symptom of a conflict that exists between a couple."
Psychologist Warren Edwards, PhD, remembers the days when erectile difficulties were thought to be connected to males' too-early viewing of a vagina. "In the early 1960s, we talked seriously about that stuff. Now we're more recognizing that things have changed -- and we're once again going back to the idea there's some organic component in most men's erectile dysfunction."
Edwards, a staff therapist with the Mercy Hospital in Des Moines, Iowa, points out that the reverse scenario also is true in many cases -- where otherwise psychologically healthy men develop erectile dysfunction for physical reasons, and then develop psychological problems. "I've worked a lot with men in their middle years, and typically they would have some organic contribution. Maybe they were overweight or had a pain in their back." Sex was uncomfortable for these men, he says, so they would resort to trying to get it over with quickly. That would lead to problems. "If you're 60 years old and trying to have sex in a hurry, you're probably going to fail."
Edwards says it's not new that men with erection problems consult their medical doctors first. "They always did go to the medical doctors. Psychotherapists weren't their first choice. It was in the hope there was something their doctors could give them. And now there is." But, he says, many older couples he's seen have found a simpler, less expensive (and safer) solution: a good lubricant.
Tobias suggests that while there may be value in Viagra, the ads for the drug encourage indiscriminate use: "The ads themselves lead to tremendous expectations, and Viagra may not even be the answer." He says: "No matter how many caveats you put in the ads, all the man hears is the opening statement: 'Here's the solution to your problem.'" Maybe that's true, Tobias says -- and maybe not.
A. This article is a perfect companion to the previous two questions. It deals with the mental aspects of sex and Erectile Dysfunction (ED). You are wondering if there is a correlation between ED and being submissive, based on the one sentence “… men who are submissive are much more likely to develop erectile dysfunction than those who are not…”
If you read through the rest of the article you will see their definition of the word “submissive” is not about men who desire to be dominated by a woman or men who are involved in a Female Domination relationship. It is talking about men who suffer from some sort of anxiety that hinders their performance (“Take the case of a man with performance anxiety -- perhaps the most common psychological cause of erectile dysfunction.”)
The word submissive here is talking about being on the receiving end of some sort of relationship conflict ("Younger couples need to work with someone because the issues are quite often buried -- issues of power, dominance, virility. Often ED is just a symptom of a conflict that exists between a couple.")
There can be an unhealthy form of submission and most of the time this kind of submission exists outside of a FemDom relationship. A woman can put pressure on her husband to earn more money, or lose more weight, or do more chores around the house, or spend more time with the kids, etc. This kind of dominance means stress and stress can greatly affect the sex lives of couples. What is so great about a FemDom relationship is that is can provide a fun and even stress-free environment where a man serves the needs of a woman in a way that they both find to be exciting and enjoyable. That is why I constantly remind people to have fun with this lifestyle. It should be a win/win situation.
Men do need to be trained, controlled and dominated and men want to be trained, controlled and dominated but it must be done within the parameters that is fulfilling to the submissive nature of man. If a couple will implement Female Domination and D&S in the bedroom, that can make the mundane tasks of life outside the bedroom more enjoyable. A woman who nags a man and who overloads a man with responsibilities will sap that man of energy and a mental block can develop that affects his sex drive and his desire to be intimate. In contrast, the woman who takes the time to explore a man’s submissive nature and who uncovers his submissive triggers can stimulate those triggers so that he is eager to do more for his Queen. The FemDom lifestyle is about a man becoming so devoted to his Queen and so submissive to his Queen that he is motivated to serve her, even during those times when he doesn’t feel like it.
Female Domination is a journey and it is about growth. As couples get into it more deeply, the woman gains more power and more authority by the man willingly surrendering more power over to her. It then comes from the heart, out of love and devotion. The foundation of a good FemDom relationship is a friendship and a level of trust between the Dominant Woman and the submissive man.
So the definition of a submissive male in this article is not about a man within a loving Female Domination relationship. This article is accurate about how mental blocks and psychological issues can cause ED in men and too often drugs like Viagra are only dealing with the symptoms and not the cause.
Q. As a male I always wondered how the female mind worked and what logic they used to make their decisions. Now that I am retired and have considerable time to do research, I decided to make this my current project. I have read several books on the subject and have used the Internet as an addition source for my research. I guess that's how I arrived on to your web site. I wish I had done this when I was younger, I think it would have greatly enhanced my understanding of women.
After reading the information on your site I concur what you say about the husband/wife relations in a typical marriage (I have been happily married for 45 years). The wife does make many of the decisions and in most cases controls most of the spending. Whether us men want to admit it or not, this is true in most marriages. I have no problem with this, I love my wife and she loves me, and that's what counts.
I think most men become submissive to their wife for a different reason than what you advocate. It has the nothing to do with my wife being more intelligent than me, I have a much higher IQ than she does. What I believe happens in a marriage is the wife generally deals with most of the household expenses, such as paying the bills, buying the household items etc. Therefore, what I believe happens is the wife becomes the family manger. She says jump and we all say how high. But that has nothing to do with her being superior, rather it’s because a man loves his wife and he trusts his wife will always have the best interest of the family at heart. He also realizes that women are the nurturing element in the family, the rock that provides the support for the family. Most men that I know would lay down their life for their families and many have in our armed conflicts.
Men are submissive to those they love, but I can assure you that is not the case outside the marriage. Here they will fight to the bitter end, especially to protect their families. Men's nature is to protect, women's nature to nurture. The protection nature of man is wherein the submissive nature arises, not because they feel inferior but because they love their wife and family and want to give them the best they can. The same way as a parent gives to a spoiled child. I realize that man comes in all kinds of favors, the same as women, but the overwhelming fact remains, it is the protection nature of men that surrenders to the female. You yourself stated that woman have always controlled men in marriage, even when men were more educated than woman. So therefore, the superior brain and education has little to do with submissiveness.
These are my thoughts on the subject and you may disagree but I know from a man's perspective that's how I view this issue. Today society is changing and it may well evolve to a female led society. I pray that it does not change the character of man, because if it does, women may lose the most important allies that women have and that is the protection nature of man. As you know men thrive on competition, it’s their nature. As women become more competitive, will man lose his submissive nature? It’s an interesting question.
A. I agree with some of your analysis, namely that the male has in his nature the instinct to protect his Queen and his family. There have been many studies and analysis of the sexes that comes to the generalization that males are the hunters and the protectors and women are the nurturers and managers. Some business studies have equated the success of female business managers, supervisors and CEO’s to the inherent female ability to manage a family. That brings up an interesting question. If women are by nature nurturers and managers and men are protectors, who should lead? I would think you would want the manager to lead, not the hunter.
But of course these are just broad generalizations of something that is much more complex, namely the natures of women and men. Not all men are protectors or hunters and in fact, as society becomes more civilized, men are losing their hunting instincts. You see this clearly when you look at males in your generation compared to your father’s generation and again when you look at your children’s generation. Hunting is still a popular sport with males but the number of males who hunt decreases with each generation. Hunting as a sport does not have the same meaning as hunting to place food on your family’s table. Also, more and more young males are fond of animals, developing a more nurturing heart toward animals. This has a long, long ways to go but the female influence in this area is beginning to pay dividends. A great example of this is my father. He grew up on a farm and to this day he cannot understand people like me who allow animals in the house and on the furniture. To him, animals do not belong in the house. That was the mindset of his generation.
Compare that to what you see today as many younger couples choose to have pets instead of children, and they treat their pets as if they were their children. You witness so many younger males that are open to adopting pets and treating animals with love and kindness. A result of this is a decrease in that killer instinct to hunt animals and I believe that hunting instinct will continue to decrease within males, although hunting will remain a popular male endeavor for many generations to come because that inherent male drive is still very strong.
As far as men being protectors go, while that is a true male trait, how strong it is in reality is another question. Do men go off to war to protect their families or as more of as duty to their country? Some men would argue both but if you are in a foreign land, how can you protect your family from the dangers at home? You might be protecting them from foreign enemies but what about domestic criminals? The reverse side of the female desire to nurture is the female desire to protect her family. If you ever want to see the aggressive side of the female nature, just try messing with a woman’s children.
The flip side of the male protective nature is the negative male trait of being overly possessive of a woman. If a man feels it is his duty to protect a woman, he can begin to view her as being his possession. An interesting characteristic about the male nature is when you see a man picking a fight with another man over a woman. That is a definite sign of being possessive of the female but is it driven by the male need to protect or the male ego? Is the male being overly possessive due to his desire to protect a woman or is he flexing his masculinity by taking a stand that the woman is his woman (i.e. his possession)?
I do not mean to downplay the wonderful male trait of protecting his loved-ones but I am simply pointing out that this is more complex than just a broad generalization. And that brings me to your analysis that the protective nature of man is where the submissive nature of man arises. I disagree with that. In fact, I would argue that it is the opposite. The protective nature of man is what caused women to surrender their power and allowed a patriarchal system to rule society. Women have sacrificed liberty for security. When society is unable to protect its citizens, and the last line of defense is the man of the house, the intelligent female will do what is necessary to ensure the protection of her children, and if that means to allow the man to dominate, so be it. That was the mindset of many females for many centuries. Thankfully that is changing.
The hunting instinct of the male is also tied to the aggressive and violent nature of man. Yes, men do protect their women but whom do they protect them from? The answer is other men. So the same aggressive male nature that hunts and protects for the good of his family, that same male trait can also turn to the dark side of the male nature and kill, rape and plunder. So men are primarily protecting their families from other men. That was the way of old and it still exists to a lesser degree today. The male tendency to fight, protect and if need be, to be violent, is not born out of the male submissive nature.
The male submissive nature is what tames the overly aggressive male. It is Nature’s way to bring balance to the male nature. And the male submissive nature is cultivated and nurtured by the female. A man’s interactions with women are what transports the submissive nature to the forefront. A man such as yourself yields to your wife’s leadership and your wife’s decision making, not because you want to protect her, but because your submissive nature feeds off of her sexual and dominant energy. It does not matter if she openly recognizes this or not, you have willing submitted aspects of your life over to her and it has produced peace and harmony in your home. You recognized her as the house manager, other men consider their wives to be Queens, others Mistresses, others Goddesses, others all of the above, but the common denominator is that the women are in charge of the marriage, and it is the male submissive nature that feeds off of the female dominant nature that makes this happen. How deep the male submissive nature grows depends on the level the woman grows based on her realization of the power she possesses.
You asked, “when women become more competitive, will men lose their submissive nature?” I believe the opposite of this will be true. As women become more liberated, more competitive, more aggressive, more dominant, the submissive nature of man will feed off of that and will thus grow stronger. In my book, I used the analogy of the animal world interacting with the plant world to describe the female dominant nature interacting with the male submissive nature. When we breathe out, we provide the carbon dioxide that the plants need to live, and they in return provide us with the oxygen we need to live. We feed off of each other in order to grow and survive. It is the same way when the male submissive nature encounters the female dominant nature. The more dominant the female, the more submissive the male will become. Where women surrender their power, men will dominate. Where women use their power, men will become submissive. I believe this is a spiritual law. Thanks for the comments.
Q. I have read your site and have pondered the following thought. With females being superior intelligently than it stands to reason that at some time in the future, women will be in charge politically. If that is the case, it’s highly likely that they would also be in charge of our military. With their keen minds, it would seem to be a waste not to utilize those minds for a smarter command structure. When this happens, would it not make sense for women to serve in combat roles and replace men? We would have smarter military troops capable of smarter decisions on the battle field. Men could than stay at home and built the ships and planes needed for combat, as the women did during WWll. Of course I am assuming conflicts exist in the world (mainly third world countries) and a need exists for combat troops. What are your thoughts on these points?
A. All it will take for a woman to be in charge of the US military is for a woman to become President because the President is also the Commander in Chief of the military. That day is probably not too far off. Of course, we have seen women as the heads of state of Nations and thus in charge of the military of those nations. Women have commanded armies and have sent men to die in battle. As I stated in the response above, women maybe nurturers but when their children are at risk, women will not hesitate to defend. The leader of a Nation would view her citizens as her children, meaning that if there is a threat, force may be required. It really doesn’t have so much to do with intellect (although wisdom and intelligence are vital assets) but rather the ability to make life and death decisions with a compassionate heart. In most cases, the female nature would weigh the human cost of armed conflict more heavily than the male nature. Once again, who is better equipped to lead, the aggressive hunter (male) or the nurturing manager (the female)?
My biggest concern is that when the US elects a Female President, she will bow to political pressure and surround herself with mostly male advisors. I think that would be a mistake. Having some male advisors is a must because you want to see all problems from all viewpoints. But I would hope that a Female President would surround herself with a mostly female inner circle so that the problems of the world can be examined from a fresh perspective. The same tired thought process has been exercised from one administration to the next, with little difference between the two major political parties. The reason for this is because no matter who is elected, they seem to go to the same pool of former power players from past administrations to fill high level cabinet positions. Thus the same approach and the same worldview is prevalent within all US administrations. It would be nice to see a Female President with mostly Female advisors in order to gain a fresh perspective. The odds of a Female President in the future is high. The odds of a mostly Female Cabinet and Female inner circle is not. We will probably have to wait some time to see that materialize, but at least society is moving in that direction.
As far as women in combat are concerned, I think women should have the right to choose to be soldiers if that is what they want. I don’t believe women should be denied the opportunity based solely on gender. If a woman passes the physical requirements and proves her mettle, she should be allowed to fight for her country. Some women will make great soldiers but most women would not.
Men are better equipped to be the hunters and protectors. It is in the male nature and a lot of men want to be soldiers. There is a time and a place where fighting is unavoidable and Nature has instilled in many males (not all but many) the ability and the desire to fight. To not use that male aggression, to not channel it into a common good for the protection of society would be foolish. To have women in combat and men back at home making the ships, planes and ammunition would be a losing strategy. That would be like a football team having the faster players doing the blocking and the bigger players doing the running.
I apologize to those who are more knowledgeable about military matters for my lack of knowledge in this area, as I will be the first to admit that I do not think in military terms. My mindset is one of avoiding conflict if at all possible, to find a peaceful solution if one can be found, to exhaust all diplomatic avenues and only using force to defend, as a last resort. But it seems to me, using the football analogy again, that women should be the coaches and men the players. Or perhaps a better analogy is for women to be the Owners (President) and the General Managers (Cabinet) and men be the coaches (Generals - knowledgeable of military tactics) and men be the players (soldiers). That way the military would be under Female control but still be at its best if a conflict would arise when combat is the only option in order to defend the helpless and innocent. Take care.
Q. Hello Ms Sutton, I am a 51yo male and am new to your site. I came across your site while searching for sites dealing with female supremacy. I have been unsettled with my life in recent years, searching I guess for meaning and fulfillment. For most of my life I have not been very philosophical at all, being more the doer than the thinker. Having said that, I am by most measures successful, having the traditional family (wife and two daughters), strong extended family structure, my own business, and the various trappings of success. I believe I am reasonably intelligent, but more importantly have a happy knack of understanding life by virtue of a great deal of common sense that has enabled me to achieve success in my life.
I don’t believe in labeling individuals as human nature is too complex for that, but I know there is good and bad in most things in life. This is how I see your future world of female supremacy and female domination/male submission.
Personally I believe you are right in that the world is heading towards a period of female control. Whether this is sustainable will depend on how well women do the job. I don’t fear this eventuality and I believe there will be many benefits flow from shifting the balance of power between the genders.
I do agree with you that most men do seem to have a submissive streak (just as some women do) and that this will tend to shift the balance of power at an interpersonal level as well between the genders. However I have trouble accepting that this will be an across-the-board total submission to the female gender. Men, just as women have in the recent past, are too intelligent to totally give up their rights, especially to some aspects of submission that are espoused on your site, which I will come to later.
Let me say here that during my recent years of searching for meaning, I have reached the same conclusion on many levels to the ideas I have read on your website.
I do believe women are the superior gender. Whether it be physiologically, emotionally, intellectually, or sexually, women are generally superior to men, although some male traits such as ambition are highly desirable for the growth of the future world. Rather than feel threatened by this, which I must admit I was initially, I now embrace the concept. You see I love and respect women and have done all my life, and I believe as a gender women have the qualities to make the world a better place.
However, having said that I also believe that once those men who adopt a macho façade come to their senses, they will join with those men currently living a ‘true’ life, and stake a big claim for a continued role in society, albeit a diminished one. You see I don’t believe any society can dismiss the constructive efforts of half its population and still prosper and grow.
Just for the record I personally believe that apart from some obvious shortcomings such as war and the environment, men have not done too bad a job up until now. In fact it is the successes of men that is now enabling women to stake their claim to control the world. By this I mean men have created a world where the virtue of brute strength, and the hunter and gatherer concept, are not as relevant anymore, giving women the opportunity to compete with and surpass men.
At an interpersonal level, I agree with you that many males have a need to submit to a strong woman, although I was surprised with your view that women have an equal need to be dominant. In general, and by this I mean putting aside the vocal minority of radical feminists, I have not seen that need in the vast majority of women I have known in my life.
I personally would like to be in a relationship where the female was the dominant person (in her soft but firm feminine way), and I would willingly be subservient to her. In fact I will admit that the notion does excite me. Certainly I have no issue at all about that sexually, as long as my needs are also met.
But on a broader relationship level, I would not be prepared to hand over all power to her. I would be prepared to accept her decisions up to a point, but would equally expect my comments on matters of importance to me to be taken seriously by way of discussion, and by mutual agreement decide on a course of action. I don’t think I am alone among the male population on this one.
You see I do not believe the male need for submission is all-encompassing for most men. I believe men will allow their women to take greater control of their relationships, as many have now, and that this will be a good thing for the relationship itself, and yes, quite possibly feed into the needs of both genders.
My only issue is with what I see as some of the extreme elements of your theory that I, and I believe most rational men, will find are unpalatable and hence unlikely to occur.
Issues such as humiliation, discipline, sexual deprivation, and pseudo-slavery of the male gender, will be seen as so abhorrent to the wider male population that it simply will not happen. The male sex drive is not that pervasive and strong in our psyche that it will cause us to trade off our basic human rights in this way. I also have trouble accepting that the wider female population will enjoy emasculating men in these ways.
The issues I am referring to are the total domination of men, where men are expected to do all the work, and then literally worship at the feet (and crotch) of their woman. Worshipping your woman is fine, and I personally practice and thoroughly enjoy female worship in my love-making these days, but to actually become a virtual slave to a woman is a long stretch.
I hope you can accept these criticisms and comments in the spirit in which they are I intended. I am not trying to attack your general theory, as I believe you are really onto something, and to my mind are probably 75%-80% right. It certainly has sparked a lot of thought in my mind.
Thank you for a very stimulating website. I can see from observing my two university student daughters that the balance of power is rapidly changing whether we want it or not, and I personally believe female control is only 20 to 30 years away.
A. Thank you for those well thought out and intellectually honest comments. I am glad to hear my site provokes thought and invites discussion.
My site is both informative and entertaining, thus a strong emphasis on the sexual aspects of the Female Domination lifestyle. I am sure that in your search for sites dedicated to Female Supremacy you discovered that most of the sites deal with sexuality in one manner or another, with the majority being what one might classify as extreme exaggerations and/or a fantasy based representation. I try to bring a reality based perspective to this growing lifestyle and sexuality.
Sometimes the line between fantasy and reality becomes blurred. My book "The FemDom Experience" examined FemDom fantasy vs. FemDom reality. What you will discover is that one person’s fantasy is another person’s reality, yet some fantasies do not translate to reality.
Be that as it may, I try to challenge males to come to terms with their FemDom desires in such a way as to serve women within a reality based relationship. I mentioned in an earlier post that the female domination lifestyle is not some Sci-Fi movie where all men become slaves to women. You correctly point this out. The majority of the male gender will not choose to become second-class citizens just because they may find the thought sexually exciting. That is where fantasy does not translate to reality.
However, when examining the societal trends, you have come to the same conclusion that I and a lot of other people have come to, namely that society is evolving toward female-led relationships and female authority within societal institutions. That does not mean men will become slaves like you see on fantasy based websites. Some men will choose to be willing slaves within the home (just like some men choose today to live as a slave to a woman within the safe confines of the home) but it is a willing slavery within a mutually agreed upon lifestyle, not something mandated by government or society. Likewise, male submission is a willing submission, out of love and devotion to women based on mutual respect between consensual adults. The FemDom lifestyle is all by choice.
As women come into power and as women govern, it will be a win/win scenario. As I mentioned many times before, loving female authority is all about a win/win relationship where both the female and the male fulfill each other’s needs and desires. It is not about mistreating anyone or forcing anyone to live a lifestyle they are not interested in living. That does not mean boundaries cannot be expanded or limits stretched or desires explored, but it all must be within a consensual relationship.
The activities that you find perplexing (humiliation play, discipline, etc) are part of the D&S lifestyle, practiced primarily in the privacy of a couple’s bedroom. I have written at great length on the benefits of such sexual practices and I would advise you get my book “Female Domination” and read how different couples incorporate D&S activities within their marriages and relationships with positive results. The FemDom lifestyle is a big umbrella with many different practices and lifestyles. Every couple is unique and they choose those sexual and D&S activities that fit within their own needs and desires. Some couples choose not to participate in the kinds of practices that you find perplexing. But that does not mean they do not enjoy a female-led relationship. You can have a FemDom relationship without the D&S.
So I would not be overly concerned about sexual practices and activities that some people choose to engage in within the privacy of their homes. While the growing trend of FemDom sexual practices does indeed correspond with the societal evolution of female empowerment across all areas of society, and while it is almost impossible to do a study about female superiority without coming across FemDom sexuality, the two are separate topics. Related topics? Yes, but still separate as a lot of women are career driven and politically driven but have no interest in D&S. Likewise some men seek out powerful women as mates with no interest in D&S practices.
Just because my website explores the correlation between the sexual and social aspects of Female Domination (as well as the benefits of a D&S sexuality) that does not mean all future relationships will evolve in such a manner. People will always be unique individuals with unique interests and desires. Society is evolving toward female dominance but how couples choose to relate to each other within the framework of a female-led society will be vast and broad. Thanks again for your contribution.