Real Life Stories - Entries for August 2009
From Chris R:
Dear Elise Sutton, I am a submissive male in my early 30's, and I've found your site very helpful. Recently, I turned my FemDom lady onto it, and now she has been putting it to practical use. I see her in her San Diego home three days a week as her humble slave.
She loves cross-dressing me as a naughty school girl, and disciplines me as her house maid. I must perform all the chores and errands, and obey her supreme word with no question or doubt about her strict authority. She receives a cruel pleasure in wearing the pants, and humiliating me into humble submission.
At the end of the day, she calls me into her office for stern reprimands. Like displeasing her in any way, or if my training isn't going as she demands. She dresses very classy in mini-skirts, nylons, high heels and sometimes boots. I must stand before her, dressed as a sissy school boy in little girls shorts and knee socks. I feel embarrassed, inferior, and scared as I am wickedly scolded for some infraction. She asserts her full power and control over me, crossing her beautiful buxom legs. This leaves no doubt that she'll be administering the intense corporal punishment I need.
I am taken to her closet, which is converted into a dungeon, and placed in bondage. I am left alone, in my helpless imprisonment, to ponder what she has in store for me. She later returns and stands before me in her stringent feminine authority.
I am taken into her study and am told to stand in the corner with my face to the wall. To make absolutely sure I remain in my place, she ties my ankles together with my hands behind my back. And she places a rubber ball between my nose and the wall, so she'll know if I moved or not. I remain there for nearly a half-hour until I hear her abruptly order me to come over to her. I try to tell her I can't because my ankles are tied, but she orders me to hop over to her like a very naughty school boy. As hard and embarrassing as it is, I manage to finally reach her as she sits on a chair with a very harsh hair brush in her hand.
She then turns me over her adult knee while lowering my shorts and panties. My head and legs dangle helplessly off the floor as I offer my upturned bare bottom to her fierce strokes. The first hard crack always takes me by surprise. Then each one gets a little more harder and faster. My poor red behind starts burning and stinging so bad I can't help but weep at times from my shame. It feels like those hard cracks will never end as I start pleading with her to stop. She only spanks me more until I find myself starting to drift off into sub-space. It finally stops as I lie in helpless embarrassment across her firm luscious lap.
Feeling like the humiliated and chastised school boy, she then takes me into her bedroom. I am placed in her bed on my back with my hands still tied. She then takes the top position over me, and shows me first-hand what it's like being her pussy whipped sex slave.
She feels that I not only need this kind of punishments, but I also deserve them as well. As much as I try to pathetically deny her harsh supreme judgments, I painfully realize she is dead-on. We've now been seriously discussing a LTR which could eventually lead to a permanent Cybelle arrangement. I am both excited and anxious over her proposition. She knows my shortcomings and naughty fetishes and fantasies like the back of her beautiful hand, which she has been putting to my sore fanny with ever increasing frequency.
I occasionally wonder if I'm not being 'careful for what I wish for'. What intrigues, but also scares me a bit, is how I love and need her, but I sometimes fear her for she is very dominant and authoritarian. I concede that women are my overwhelming superiors and she sadistically loves embarrassing and fully humiliating me. Especially when I experience extreme difficulty in trying to sit down the next day.
I hope this is mostly just a natural anxiety for 'getting what I've always passionately dreamed of'. Any honest feedback will be sincerely appreciated.
Elise’s Response:
By your own admission, you recognize that you need this woman. Her strict and authoritative ways fulfills a need within you. If not, you wouldn’t continue to see her.
I think it is great that this woman knows you so well. You are very fortunate to have a relationship with a woman who understands your fetishes and desires. Do you realize how many men would love to be in your shoes? Intimacy is all about knowing someone on a deep and special level. What you have may be intense but it is that intensity which touches your nature. She understands this and that is why she deals with you in such a strict manner. It fulfills her and it fulfills you.
It is natural to have doubts and that is why you need to express those doubts to her. If not in word, than write them down and allow her to read them. Write down what you love about your relationship, what you enjoy and how it fulfills you. But also write down your fears. Communication is how you both will grow.
I think what you have with this woman is special but that does not mean you have no right to express your feelings. If you want this relationship to evolve into something even deeper, you must allow her to take you to new levels in your submission and you must be open and honest with both her and with yourself. Best wishes.
From Reggie J:
I guess I have always known that Females were Superior to males. In high school I dated a young lady who told me point blank I would never have sex with her unless it was on her terms. She told me she liked to use men for her needs and not theirs. The only sex I was allowed to have with her was to go down on her and lick her pussy. Regardless of how much I complained she would never give me a B.J. or allow any penetration of her unless it was with my tongue.
I met my wife in college and we dated regularly for 4 years and I hinted many times I was interested in Female Supremacy but at that time she never seemed to show any interested.
A couple of years later I was pretty well off with my own business and I bought her an engagement ring and asked her to marry me. To my surprise she said she would have to think about it for a while and would let me know soon. Two weeks went by and I was in agony waiting for her answer. I loved her so much I would have done anything for her. A few days later at my family's summer home she announced to me she had made her decision, but before she gave me the answer we had to discuss a few things. It was not a discussion; she demanded that if she was going to marry me she would control my life. I could hardly believe my ears but I was so crazy about her and wanted to please her so much I agreed.
At that point she told me she believed in Female Supremacy and as far as she was concerned males were born for the sole purpose of serving and worshipping the Superior Female. She told me I would have to sign an agreement or contract pledging my servitude and slavery to her for the rest of my life. As far as sex went, it was for her pleasure only and if I broke any rules she set for me, (no masturbating without permission, etc.), she would have the natural birthright as a Superior Female to punish me any way she saw fit. I agreed to her terms.
To consummate the verbal agreement she took off her bathing suit displaying her beautiful body and sat in a chair with her legs slightly parted and commanded I take off my clothes and get on the floor on my belly and crawl to her. I obeyed her and crawled right up between her legs to within and inch of her pussy. She put a finger under my chin lifted my head with it and said 'I want you to look at my pussy and talk to it, and repeat after me' ...
“I am an inferior male and you are Superior. I will obey every command. I will do my work and your work. You may use my mouth and tongue for your pleasure at will. I will prostrate myself at your feet and worship them on command.”
She then said to me that I was to prove I was sincere in my commitment by worshipping her pussy, that which controls my inferior being.
“I want you to gently kiss it, lick it softly and suck on my clit until I reach several orgasms.”
She obviously had figured out that I would be willing to submit. I never thought our marriage would last or if I was really up to the task, but I worship her more and more every day. We have been married for 37 years. If I had to do it over again I would. You cannot imagine the pleasure I get when she lowers her pussy to my mouth. It makes up for any suffering knowing she has been satisfied and I will have that privilege of tasting her again.
Elise’s Response:
Your story is the fantasy of most men. If a woman would give a man those conditions for marriage and would use her sexual power in such a way, few men would decline that offer. Your many years of marriage is proof that such an arrangement works. I am sure you have had your tough times, your times of doubt, your times of frustration, but overall, this type of relationship is emotionally, socially and sexually fulfilling.
It is best when the woman is in charge, no matter how mild or how intense. The dominant woman/submissive man marriage has the best chance of being successful and fulfilling due to the internal natures of men and women. Your love for your wife is still obvious after all these years and thus you are a most blessed individual. Take care.
From Joel H:
Ms Sutton, my wife ordered me to share with you the details of our FemDom marriage. She also wanted me to tell you my thoughts and to get your feedback.
I am in a bit of a dilemma but I fully understand that it is of my own doing. I begged my wife to dominate me for approximately ten of the fifteen years of our marriage. I kept my submissive desires hidden from her for the first five years of our marriage but I finally told her and she wanted nothing to do with it. I kept coming back to her and like I said, practically begged her. I told her I needed this in my life and that I didn’t want to see Pro Dommes, I wanted to submit to her.
I showed her books, stories, and when we got the Internet, I showed her websites. Nothing worked until I showed her your site. Your site was the first site that appealed to her. She loves your site and reads it every month. It was because of your site that my wife finally agreed to dominate me but it had to be both in and out of the bedroom. I agreed and was beside myself with excitement.
You have to know my wife but she never does anything half-assed. When she makes up her mind, she goes all out. Like the time she took up golf, she had to have the very best clubs, outfits, the whole nine yards. She was the same with FemDom. She ordered me to get her lots of toys, whips, bondage furniture and outfits for her to wear. Needless to say, this was expensive but I was more than happy to spend the money. It was like a dream come true.
As is the case with most beginners, my wife wasn’t very skilled in the beginning and she actually hurt me a few times. She whipped me too hard or she would pinch and cut my skin when she attempted c/b torture. I would complain and she would get angry and frustrated to the point that she threatened to quit the whole lifestyle.
She bought your book "Female Domination" and the story about Kathy and James where they visited the Pro Domme convinced her that was what she needed. We contacted a high profile Mistress in Washington DC and had a joint session. She showed my wife how to discipline a man and she taught her how to use different toys. It was a very productive afternoon and it gave my wife a fresh motivation to continue on.
One activity that this skilled Mistress shared with my wife was electricity play. She is an expert and she inserted an electric butt plug in me and she put an electric cock ring on me. She had a remote control and she would give me different sensations of pleasure and pain from the electrical charges. My wife fell in love with this device and the Mistress gave her a website where she could order her own unit.
My wife had me order her the Eros Tek Remote Power Unit and it totally changed our marriage. This unit comes with two remotes, one that is shaped like a key-chain so my wife can keep it on her person when we go out. I have to wear the cock ring or the butt plug and my wife will give me jolts of pleasure or pain. If I ever displease her, it is pain. I must always be on my best behavior and it is challenging, to put it mildly.
Over the last couple of months my wife has taken total control of our marriage. I am in disbelief over how dominant and controlling she has become. In the past couple of months, I am now required to do 90% of the cooking and housework. She has taken total charge of the finances, including my paycheck. She disciplines me once a week with her variety of whips and paddles and she has become much more skilled. She has even gone out on a couple of dates with other men (although she has yet to cuckold me but she says that is in my future once she finds the right man).
I work 50 hours a week on my job, I come home and do the housework, and my wife only allows me Sunday for myself as she says I need one day for R&R for my mental health. Saturdays I do chores for her all day long. Friday night is my discipline night.
When I do my chores, I am required to wear either feminine lingerie or a maid’s outfit she bought for me. I am also required to wear the electric cock ring so she can shock me if she catches me loafing. We go out for dinner on Saturday night (if she doesn’t have another date) and I wear either the cock ring of the butt plug so she can make sure I will be on my best behavior. We sometimes visit friends and she will reach into her purse and give me a jolt while I am talking, just to keep me honest. I feel embarrassed when this happens and people ask me what’s wrong when I jump or flinch. When this happens, I now say I get frequent Charlie horses.
Ms Sutton, my wife is thrilled with the changes in our marriage. She is proud of what she has accomplished and she wanted me to share our story. However, I think we should have gone about this a little slower. I feel we have gone too far, too fast. I know it is all my doing because I begged her to dominate me but I never dreamed it would get to this place so fast. That is my wife’s personality, she goes all out. I told her she will burn out eventually if she keeps this pace. We want to know your opinion although my wife has made it clear she has no intentions of changing.
Elise’s Response:
Since your wife has no intentions of changing, my advice really doesn’t matter, now does it? The Genie is out of her bottle, your wife’s dominant nature has been freed, she feels liberated, sexy, and powerful and there is no going back. She will not get burned out. She may tire of a particular activity and she may constantly be looking for new activities but I doubt that your wife will ever desire any other type of relationship. She is hooked and she does not want to go back.
That is the reality and you are correct, you were the one who set all of this in motion. You seduced her dominant nature with your submission and that spark has finally become a burning passion within her. You begged her, you pleaded, you bitched, you complained but now your desires have become a reality. So the only advice I can offer is for you to adapt the best you can. You know you love this, perhaps not all of it, but you would be the first to complain if your wife decided to stop dominating you.
My advice to your wife is to make sure she is skilled and knowledgeable about electricity play and any other activities she introduces into your relationship. If she reads my site every month, than you can be sure that she understands all about loving female authority and the importance of balancing discipline with nurturing and balancing punishment with love.
I have no problem when a woman decides that her submissive male needs firm and strict discipline to keep him in line. However, I would caution that it is always best to get a man to submit of his own free-will, and not because he fears he will suffer pain (such as a jolt of electricity). A discipline device is to be used for training but at some point the device needs to be removed so the male can prove that the training has adjusted his attitude and thus the training device is no longer needed (other than for D&S play or additional training).
Thank you for sharing your story and be thankful for what you have in your wife. I receive e-mails from men who complain that their wives are moving too slow with this lifestyle. They complain that their wives show no desire to move away from the mildest forms of FemDom. These men will be envious when they read your story for they wish that their wives would jump into FemDom with both feet. So be thankful for what you have. The grass always seems greener for some people. When you didn’t have FemDom, you wanted it. Now that you have it, you want the pace and the intensity to slow down. The bottom line is that the woman calls the shots and the submissive can express his feelings and he most certainly may communicate his thoughts, but in the end the woman calls the shots and the woman sets the pace. Take care.
*** Note - More Real Life Experiences in the July/August 2009 Edition of "Predominant" (Including access to the Archives with over 230 past stories).
