Women In Control: Questions about Female Supremacy
Q. Elise, what do you think about the wife forcing the husband to take her last name when they get married?
A. There are women who demand this out of their submissive husbands. Requiring the husband to take the wife's name is a powerful symbol of her dominance and his submission. It is also a powerful tool in humiliating the husband. Every time he has to explain to someone why he has his wife's last name it is an act of female dominance and male humiliation.
Despite the many potential benefits to the woman in doing this, I am not a big advocator of this and here's why. Family is very important. I dominate, control, humiliate, and discipline my husband. I also love him. I love him and I love his family. I believe in female superiority and I am in favor of a Matriarch society that is controlled by women. However, we do not live in this type of society yet and thus it is important not to ignore the world around us.
If I made my husband take my name, it would be a great way to humiliate him, but it would also hurt his mother and his father who do not understand about this lifestyle. It is out of respect to them, that I didn't force my husband to take my name.
I could have kept my maiden name like a lot of feminist do, but I don't consider myself a feminist. I want people to know that I am married and to whom I am married. Therefore, it was either I force him to take my name to publicly proclaim my dominance over him, or I had to take his name out of respect to our parents and our grandparents. I chose to honor our elders.
Now if I had a daughter and she wanted her husband to take her name and she asked my opinion, I would probably encourage her to follow through with her dominant wishes. I believe the day is coming when more women are going to demand this out of their husbands. We are headed toward a Matriarch society. We are not there yet, and therefore we can't ignore how our actions will effect and maybe even hurt our parents. As I always stress, the female domination lifestyle is a private matter between two consenting adults. We will save ourselves a lot of stress and conflict by keeping it a private matter.
Q. If women are superior, why doesn't the natural process of cream rising to the top take place?
Can you distinguish between appreciating getting off in a session of erotic female domination versus a mind set that compels one to subject themselves to a submissive lifestyle? And further one that accepts beatings and torture for the amusement and validation of women who bring their own psychological inner demons to the equation. In the process of justifying this superior woman thing you may want to believe that all of you women are coming from the same place. Basically when it come down to life style dominants you are talking about people who choose to be totally self indulgent. Nice work if you can get it. And better work if it allows you to rationalize your darker side. Now you get to pull the wings out of the butterfly for amusement, without shame or guilt, and you can giggle with your girl friends.
One other question, do they keep a doctor on hand at the OWK annual event? I am in the process of trying to understand OWK and other like thinking Female Dominants. It seems that the superior role is only expressed by abusing the inferior slave. The dominant women seem to thrive on abuse. The turn on must be mental and deferred for the slave because the slaves are clearly not in a state of arousal as they engage in their duties and even when they are being tortured. Where is the love?
A. I can't answer for OWK, you will have to e-mail them and ask them about what they do. From what I have seen, no one is twisting any one's arm to visit this place. I have never been to OWK, although they have invited me to all of their celebrations. I understand that most of the men that visit OWK are from Europe. Professional type gentlemen who pay a healthy sum of money to be treated like a slave for a few days by women adorned in fetish attire. The women do seem to be sadistic but that must be what these men fantasize about or else they would not go. These ladies appear to deliver on what they promise, nothing more and nothing less. These ladies seem intelligent and they are offering men what men crave for. Their web site is one of the most visited FemDom sites on the web. Obviously, a lot of men desire to be treated like this because they keep returning to have a peek at their site and many men pay a monthly subscription to see more.
As far as I am concerned, I encourage female domination within a loving and caring relationship. Obviously you have not read over my entire site or if you have, you have not grasped what I am saying. Most men desire to be dominated by a woman in a loving and caring relationship. You should see the e-mails I get from men who are desperately seeking for a woman to dominate them. I am providing practical advice to submissive men and FemDom couples on how they can have such a relationship in a loving and caring manner. I receive thank you e-mails all of the time from couples that express to me how the FemDom lifestyle has richly enhanced their marriage. I receive e-mails from men thanking me for helping them to understand their submissive desires better. And I receive thank you e-mails from women telling me how liberating this lifestyle has been for them. The proof is in the pudding.
Where is the love? It is all around. I only encourage FemDom within a loving and caring relationship. I do not endorse OWK but I also do not criticize them. They are obviously providing a service that men are craving. Perhaps if more women and wives embrace female domination, the need for places like OWK will be less. Until then, I suspect that the professional Dominatrix and places like OWK will be on the increase as more and more men are coming into the knowledge that they need to be in submission to women.
As far as the cream rising to the top goes, that is happening. I teach a class at a local University and I am impressed with how confident and aggressive the younger women are today from when I was in college. The ladies are more intelligent and are out scoring the men in my class. From talking to other teachers and professors, this is happening in almost every area. I see a real change taking place in our society, as the cream is rising to the top. One hundred years ago women could not even vote and very few were being educated. I suspect that in less than a hundred years from now, women will be running our society. There is an evolution taking place and this process takes time. Men are sensing this change and that is causing them to become more and more submissive toward women. That is why men crave to visit places like OWK.
My goal is to keep these desires within men on a practical level. A woman needs a man to be a life partner and a friend, as well as a submissive. Discipline should be a part of a FemDom relationship but it must be in a loving manner, much like a Mother disciplines the child that she loves. That is what I am all about. You probably do not agree with my views and that is OK. The best advice I can give you is to stop trying to figure out female domination and just surrender to your submissive desires. To do otherwise will only cause you much internal struggle and anguish. Submit to the woman in your life or if you are single, find a woman whom you can submit to. You will be happy and content. This I know from years of experience. I wish you well in your journey in life.
Q. I am from the Common Sense campaign. Male submissive psyche?" Where do you radical feminists get off fabricating this bull? Unfortunately, some men are submissive. It is part of the sissification of America. Many men are scared to death to speak out what they really think because of militant feminism, which is helping to ruin this country. But I am one man who is man enough to tell you what I really think of you.
You say that women should be in charge. Ha! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Men were made to go out and conquer the world and women were made to stay at home with the children. Like it or not, that's what God intended for and since we have moved away from that, our society has gone downhill, and it gets steeper by the day. Men are dominant in society because that is what God and Nature intended. Otherwise, women would have been given the muscles and the strength. Any man who would seek advice from a backwards idiot like you would have to be gay. Am I offending you? Maybe you should counsel me and get into my psyche. You make me sick!
A. I take it you disagree with my philosophy. That's perfectly within your right but why can't you express your views in a logical and calm manner? Why must you rant and rave? It seems to me that you have much frustration and anger. That's too bad. I hope you can find peace and tranquility.
For your information, I am not a radical Feminist. Nevertheless, I stand by my views on Female domination and male submission. America is great because women are liberated. Male dominated societies like Iran are the societies that are backwards. Society is ever evolving and women are gaining in power. Progress can't be stopped no matter how much some men hearken back to a simpler time. God's and nature's plan is ever unfolding. Now that the Genie is out of her bottle, she can never be put back. Liberated women will never allow themselves to be submissive again. Yet, more and more men are desiring to be submissive. Feminists couldn't cause this even if they wanted to. It is how our society is evolving.
I disagree with some things that Feminists do in the political arena but I do applaud their participation. They are just one group of women. There are many more that don't get the recognition that are influencing society in far greater ways. Men are physically stronger, as you will get no argument out of me. However, women are intellectually and sexually stronger and men can't overcome that with brute force. You don't believe me? Ask yourself this question. If men were intellectually superior, could weaker females in fact feminize America as you stated? Men are allowing women to gain in power because men are desiring the feminine to take control. So don't be angry with women (be they feminists or not). You need to look no further than the mirror if you want to know who is responsible for the feminization of America. It is the male gender that both desires this and yields to this.
I applaud your passion but please lose the anger. Life is too short to go around angry about things you have no control over. Be a real man and take a few days to reflect on what I have said. I am not trying to change your opinion but I do challenge you to be open-minded and truthful with yourself and the world in which you live in. But to do so will require real common sense.
Q. I don't know if you know how to play Chess. I've been playing chess for 15 years (+-) and I am an international first class player. I read somewhere that the King represents the most important piece (when you "lose it" or you are being checkmated, you lose the game). The Queen is the most powerful piece and represents the women. The Queen can go as much squares as she wants in any direction while the King can go in any direction but one square at a time only and thus, the King is vulnerable. Several world champions lost their minds and the way I see it, it is because their egos were shattered. What do you think about that? Have you read something on that?
A. The actual origin of chess had been debated for years as people have argued over who exactly invented Chess? Some say it was invented in China, some say in India, whereas others give credit to the Persians. Most people consider Chess as a war game with the objective of conquest and the vanquishing the other sides King.
Western chess is believed to have been invented in the late 1400's in Spain or Italy. It was at this time that the Queen was introduced as the most powerful piece in the game. However, there are some chess scholars that actually believe that the Queen was reintroduced to the game by the west. In fact, there are those that say the patriarch of eastern culture perverted Chess into a game of war when in fact chess was originally invented as a Goddess worshipping game.The following is a quote from the book "Women in Chess".
"The Game is not one of war but one of Sensuality, Seduction, Fertility, Procreation, and Love. The pawns are females striving toward the ultimate goal of promotion to Queen and the possibility of union with the King; the Rook or Castle (the castle tower is an ancient symbol of the goddess, worn as a headdress by Ephesian Diana, Tyche, and the Syrian Cybele), is the protector of the width and breadth of the Chessboard, scanning for enemies while his Queen maneuvers toward unification with the other color's King. The Bishop once wore breasts and was the original female element on the chessboard; alas, she lost her breasts when the rise of patriarchy gave way to persecution of the Goddess and the concept of balance in The Game was subverted into one of war. Some of that original balance was restored to The Game in the late 1400's in Spain, where the Queen was first given sweeping new powers, perhaps a reflection of Spain's own powerful Queen Isabella."
If you combine these two prevailing thoughts, perhaps Chess is a Female Domination game after all. The Queen and her female pawns, female rooks and female bishops are seeking to dominate and conqueror the opposing King. That notion just may make Chess more exciting and erotic the next time you play.
Q. Elise, I know Camille Paglia is a personal friend of yours, and I recently ran across this interview with her that was published in Penthouse. (Woman as Goddess - Camille Paglia Tours Strip Clubs - Reported by Melanie Wells - from Penthouse Magazine). It's a good chance you have read this article but I'd like to get your opinion. I am going to give you mine and I thought perhaps this would make a good Q&A topic.
Elise, I think Camille has some very good points in this article. I agree that the woman is ultimately in control. That the men are really the weaker gender in this situation and that the money they pay the dancers as a sacrificial(ritual) offering I couldn't agree with more. All of her thinking along these lines makes sense to me as a Female Supremacist.
But I have to ask the question who is running these strip clubs? I would venture to guess the majority are owned and run by men. These same owners set the prices for the drinks which are way over priced. They often impose a cover charge which is also outrageous. Then these same customers are going to(admittedly due to their own weaknesses) stuff the dancers stockings/panties/bras's with money they often cannot afford to give away...some at the expense of their families.
Another theory of mine is that not every man in the audience is thinking wholesome thoughts towards these women. What I would like to see instead of strip clubs and other such establishments is the wife/girlfriend/mother taking control of the man's sexuality from a young age. Even if the man has slipped through the cracks and is now an older man. It's never too late for reformation. I don't like the idea that it's the MAN'S choice of when/where/how/why he is going to view a woman's (naked)body . I think a woman should always be in control of these things. The sort of activity Camille approves of just gives the man too many choices and that is never a good idea. What do you think?
A. The good thing about Camille is that she is a true Female Supremacist and she truly admires the beauty of women. She understands that women have a sexual power over men and that women are the superior gender. She doesn't disguise her beliefs and she is brutally honest with anyone who inquires of her opinion on a subject.
As far as this article goes, I agree with your assessment. I have only been to a couple of erotic dance clubs in my life, so Camille is more of an expert on this subject than I am. I think erotic dance can be an art form and I don't have any problem if a man goes to such a club if his motivation is to admire and worship the female body. Taking a man to such a club would be ideal for my "unattainable Goddess"procedure.
But I also agree with you that not all men have the same motivation in going to these establishments. I think Camille's point is that even the ones that go for immoral and negative reasons, still end up becoming weak and emotionally submissive in the presence of these sexual women. I agree with you that these establishments would not exist if women took control of their men. Men are searching for a dominant and sexual woman to worship and that is why the pornography world and these exotic clubs are flourishing.
Thanks for sharing that article with me. It was fascinating reading and I will post it on my site for others to read. The moral of this article was when Camille said "What we have seen is men understanding that women rule the world."
Q. I would be grateful for your views on an issue that arises when a submissive male who believes in female supremacy has female colleagues falling under his authority in the workplace. What is he to do when his job requires him to call those female colleagues to book on performance and related issues?
A. As a submissive male, you have two obligations here. One, you work for your wife or whoever is the female authority figure in your life. Therefore, you must be a man of excellence because you represent your wife or Mistress in the workplace. That means that you need to give your very best effort on your job.
Your second obligation as a submissive male is to serve all women and to view all women as the superior females that they are. This includes any women that are under your authority in the workplace. Just because you hold a higher paying position and are considered their boss, does not mean that you are superior to these ladies. You should still treat them with respect and humility. You should still go out of your way to make their lives better.
Now the big question is how do you balance these two obligations? How do you excel as a boss or supervisor and at the same time have a submissive attitude toward those women under your supervision? The answer is that when you are being a supervisor, you need to remove the gender from the equation. When you are evaluating an employee's performance, you must be fair and objective. You should equally judge a female's performance the same as a male's performance because that is what you are expected to do as an excellent supervisor. As a supervisor, you need to be a motivator and the purpose of evaluations should not be to punish slothful or incompetent workers but rather to spot weaknesses and to help each employee to become more productive workers, be they male or female.
Having said that, it is also important that you maintain a submissive attitude toward the women in your office, be they your workplace superiors or under your supervision. Treat all the women with humility and respect. Do little things that will make their life better and thus make them better employees. Show your servitude by bringing them coffee, holding doors open for them, and carrying that heavy box of paper for them. Make sure they are not already swamped with existing work before you assign them another work related task to do and above all, treat them with the respect they deserve, be they your office superior, or your secretary, or the cleaning lady. Treat all these women with respect and display a submissive and servants attitude toward them all.
Outwardly, you must not be a respecter of persons in order to excel as a supervisor. But inwardly, you should always maintain a subservient and submissive attitude toward all women you come in contact with.
Q. Ms.Sutton, I am a submissive male who has been aware of his submissive nature since childhood. I have been reading your site for about a year, and have learned a great deal. I've had one very intense D/s relationship which is currently on hold because work has parted us. I've thought a great deal about this lifestyle and have come to a few conclusions.
Males have no option. The only choice that males have is to say yes or no to a relationship with a Woman. If they say yes, then that relationship will be completely on her terms. This may also be true in a vanilla relationship, but the pretense of male superiority is usually maintained for the male ego. The male ego. What a joke. It isn't called ego, but rather, the male ego, which implies it's illusory. Males are saying, that simply because we're male, we are superior and stronger. Women have always known that's a lie, and so have men in their hearts. We use it to convince ourselves that we have a right to be in control, and women have helped us to foster that illusion out of love.
They must bare partial responsibility for the millenia of wrong thinking, regardless of their motives. About 100 years ago women banded together and began to test this myth. In a relatively short time they have brought it crashing down. The Emperor has no clothes. There is not a single area of life in which the Female is not superior. Science has proven that Women are smarter, and use more of their brains; they have 3-4 times the stamina of the male; they handle pain better; their bodies are simply better built to handle the stresses of life; They are sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and socially in a different class. From a different planet even. (men are from Mars, Women from Venus.)
That leaves males hanging onto the belief that we are physically stronger. Sure a taller, heavier male is stronger than a smaller Female opponent, but when the sexes are of an equal size, the Female is usually victorious. The belief that Females don't have upper body strength, has been shown to be simply because they haven't developed it. As Women increase in dominance they are also becoming bigger. Look at the number of six foot women you see every day on the subway. And they aren't six foot because of heels. Tall Women often wear flats-to protect some male's ego.
They have just published the results of the 2000 Census in Canada and a very interesting statistic shows up. In 1972 the average 18 year old male was 5'9" and weighed 170. The average 18 year old Female was 5'3.5", weighed 130. In 2000, the average 18 year old male was 5'11" and weighed 185. The average 18 year old Female was 5'8" and weighed 160. That must be one of the largest growth spurts in history. If present trends continue, males and Females will be within 10 pounds and .5 inches of each other.
My Superior One once showed me an article about Girls on boys' high school wrestling teams. Each of the teams had one or two Girls. During practices the Girls consistently beat the boys, even those that were bigger and more experienced. During inter-school matches, the Girls were always at the top or near the top in numbers of bouts won. Every single coach said that pound for pound the Girls were the best wrestlers on their teams. A number of current television shows and films have strong Female heroines, that regularly beat up male opponents. With the exception of Xena, these aren't Amazons, but normal sized Women. And they don't just beat up the larger males, they destroy them. Sure it's fiction, but these programs are aimed at children and teenagers, and these images stick.
We all know, that when we see a Female and a male fight on T.V., who is going to be the winner. A Female teenager in the past would rarely think about a fighting a boy, but now she isn't afraid, because these shows tell her not only is it possible to beat a male, it's probable. And males, although taught never to hit a Girl, must now also have an edge of fear about being humiliated. The Genie is out of her bottle and males can't put her back in.
Males won't be able to band together against Women, they way they did against us. We don't work that well as a team. Plus the Women were fighting an inferior foe, but we would be tackling a vastly Superior one. A Superior one that outnumbers us. So males had better get in touch with their submissive natures, and learn to serve the Female. That is why we were created. To make the Female's life easier and more enjoyable, as we grow and mature and learn from her. She allows us to share her life, and gives us access, on her terms, to the mind, soul and glorious sacred body, that is the Supreme Creation on this planet. We cannot ignore that this is happening. Nor can we pretend that it isn't right. It is. It is the proper relationship between the sexes.
You repeat often on your web site that sexual pleasure is for the Female. Of course this is obviously true. The male orgasm is directly related to procreation, whereas the Female's multiple orgasms are for pleasure. The clitoris and the G spot serve only as pleasure centers. Most women don't achieve orgasm through intercourse, but require manual and oral stimulation. Males can achieve orgasm in a remarkably short time, but the Female needs to be worshipped in many ways, and build Her pleasure. God may have given Females their enormous ability to achieve sexual pleasure to make up for the pain of child-birth and shame on we males who have deprived them of this God-given gift for so many millenia.
The Battle of the Sexes is over and we have lost decisively. On every battle front. Nothing we can do will change it. The pendulum will not swing back. This is how it will be from here on. We have no choice but to accept it. Welcome to the future. Hail the glorious Female. Long may She reign.
A. You have had some wonderful revelations and insights. I will share them in my Q&A forum. A revelation is when a truth goes from your mind and into your heart. It is a truth that existed all along but it does not become real or meaningful until it becomes true and real to you. Your life will be better now that you have come to terms with your submissive nature.
A lot of men can learn from what you say. Society is evolving into a female dominant society. Women are starting to take charge. The sooner men come to terms with it, the better off they will be. Much inner turmoil within men is the result of wanting to maintain control while yearning to lose control over to women at the same time.
Women are indeed becoming physically stronger with each passing decade. However, the real strength of women is in their intellectual, social and sexual power. Men are yielding to that first and this is causing them to desire to be defeated in the physical by the female as well. That is where a lot of the female wresting fantasies within men are coming from. That is why Hollywood and television is celebrating the strong female.
It is hard for men to express and explain the inner power of women so they express it by showing them with physical power. When a woman kicks a man around on television, chances are the male viewers are sexually turned on. This is because this act represents the power of the female and men want to submit to it. Men know that the real power of women is sexual and intellectual but movies and television simplify it into the physical.
The battle of the sexes is over but women never viewed it as a battle. Women are no longer deceived into being submissive. Women are assuming their true natures and men cannot overcome dominant women. The submissive nature within men yields to the power of the female. In fact, men desire to submit to the female. It is within every man. The battle of the sexes is indeed an internal battle within each male, as he tries to come to terms with his submissive desires in a society that expects him to be dominant. Some men take out that inner turmoil on women but as you properly point out, it is a losing battle. The Genie is out of her bottle as women are liberated, educated and assuming their true dominant natures. Thank you for sharing those insights.
Q. Dear Elise, I have never been interested in the subject of female supremacy nor did I have much of an opinion of female supremacists. To my way of thinking they were just a lot of strident, loud mouthed, silly women. That is until I stumbled upon your web site about two years ago.
Subsequently I have accessed your web site on a number of occasions and I find that I have to agree with your opinion that women are the superior sex. That being so I feel bound to accept the logic for you being a female supremacist. I cannot escape the fact that women should, as you quite correctly say, have authoritative positions in government and that marriages would be a great deal happier and more stable if men were made to submit to the domination and rule of their wives. Earlier I said that I understood the logic of you being a female supremacist. It seems to me quite logical that a man should also be a female supremacist because it must be patently obvious to even the meanest male intellect that women are infinitely superior to men.
Female supremacy is an obvious fact of life and men would be far better off in a Matriarchal society under the good governance of authoritative and dominant women. I must congratulated you for the methods you use to encourage women to take on the dominant role and help men to assume their proper place as women's submissive subordinates. That these methods are highly successful is convincingly demonstrated in the section entitled 'Real Life FemDom Experiences'. In this regard I wonder if you would be kind enough to enlighten my male curiosity and let me know what procedure number ten is all about. Should you ever consider forming a Matriarchal society I would certainly like to be a supporter as I am now convinced that only women can bring about a well regulated and civilized society. Best wishes.
A. Thank you for sharing yet another male revelation on the superiority of women. Like I told the gentleman in the above post, your life will be better now that you have come to realize that it is a good thing for men to be in submission to women. I have no plans to start a society but you can further the cause by treating all the women in your life with respect and reverence. Society is changed one male at a time and one relationship at a time.
Procedure number ten is a public outing where the submissive man accompanies his dominant wife or girlfriend on a shopping trip. The woman is dressed in leather but looks classy and not sleazy. The submissive man is dressed in shirt and tie and he treats his Dominant woman with respect in public. He is to walk behind her, not to talk until given permission, pay for her purchases, and carry her purchases for her. He is to open doors for her and be her servant out in public.
The woman may use the shopping trip for some public humiliation by making little remarks when her submissive is paying for her purchases. Things like, "be a good husband and pay for my purchases, Charles". Or, "Hurray up, Charles, I don't have all day. Obedient men are so hard to train."
That is the basics of procedure ten. There is much more to it than that and I recommend that all dominant wives order it from me. It will make a trip to the mall so much more fun. Wouldn't it be nice not to hear your husband moan and complain at the mall? Procedure number ten makes shopping enjoyable for both the dominant woman and the submissive husband. Oh, and men, you might not want to wear too tight of a pair of slacks. I have a feeling you will have a noticeable bulge at times as your wife is wearing leather and dominating you in public.
Q. I have been a submissive male all my life. I have know I was submissive but have just come to terms with it this year. I was so happy when I found your site. I have seen a lot of S&M web sites but when I found yours, I was very interested. I never thought that I would find a site that's explains why I am submissive.
The reason that I am writing you is because female supremacy is taking over my life. Everything is evolving around females controlling men. So much as when I go to a public place, such as a mall, I will see women with their husbands and in my mind I will visualize the husband on a leash with his head down following his wife. In my mind, the wife or girlfriend will be dressed in a sexy but casual leather outfit with a strap on between her legs tightly holding the leash in one hand and crop in the other. Then once that thought is in my mind, I picture all women like that and then I feel alone because I am not owned yet.
I totally agree with you that if women ruled men there would be less wars and fighting and I would gladly offer myself to a woman. Is it normal for a submissive male to think this much about slavery? I really want to serve at a woman's feet not just for a quick thrill but for life. I have realized my place in life and I want a relationship where I am a slave. Thank you for listening.
A. It is Ok to desire to be a woman's slave but keep yourself planted in reality. Don't allow your desire to be a woman's slave to interfere with work, college or your social life.
Women are taking over but we will never drag our husbands to the mall on leashes. That is fantasy and not reality. Get out there and experience life. Date outgoing and fun loving women, build a friendship with them and serve them in practical ways. Open doors for them. Give them flowers and gifts. Run errands for them and volunteer to do chores for them. If the relationship grows, you could offer to give your girlfriend a foot rub or a shoulder rub. A woman wants a friend and a companion first. The slavery will come later. Be patient and eventually you will find a woman whom you can serve (in the privacy of her home).
Q. Elise, Do you not think that dominant traits are just human nature, not specifically a female trait? It seems to me that humans in general have a quest for power...both male and female. Just look at the corporate world...also government. There is so much more involved in it than men just going to work and earning a living. A lot of it is a power trip that a lot of men seem to enjoy once they've experienced it also.
I have always thought I was an equal. I could not ever let a man dominate me, I have way too much independence. But, also, I respect that right in all individuals, no matter the gender, so I have never had a desire to dominate a man either. I am now living with a man who has a submissive nature and has shown me a side I had never thought of before. That has opened up a new world for me with many questions as you can see. I'm curious to learn what makes a dominant woman tick, what makes a submissive man tick?
On one hand, why wouldn't a woman desire to be waited on, to be cherished, to be in control? But how can she humiliate her partner and still admire, love and respect him? I also wouldn't admire or respect a man for being a brute towards a woman. That's why "equal partners" seems to make sense to me. We've had some very deep conversations about it.
On the other hand, I do know women are bossy creatures who DO like the last word, who DO like things their way, who DO like to be treated as someone special. I'm no exception to that. So I'm a bit confused and I'm very curious and am trying to understand and would like a relationship with my sweetie that works for both of us. I do appreciate your thoughts.
A. Let's not kind ourselves, wives have dominated husbands behind closed doors since the beginning of the institute of marriage. Single males have teased married men for generations about being hen-pecked and pussy whipped by their wives. Men have always known deep inside that once they become married, the wife will run the show. But today's modern women are taking that domination a step further. What is different today is that women are not content with being the strong, hidden force behind their successful men. Women are starting to become dominant outside the home as they are flexing their superiority in college campuses all across our society. This past spring, fifty-seven percent of all college degrees were earned by women and this fourteen point gap (57-43 percent) is expected to grow more lopsided with each passing year. This dominance in the classroom is starting to translate to dominance in the workforce, in business and in politics.
As women start to excel and become dominant in the workplace and in the business world, this is causing women to exert even more dominance within their personal relationships with men. Whereas wives have always dominated their husbands behind closed doors in a subtle manner, now they are dominating their husbands more and more openly. They are taking charge of the bedroom, as they are becoming the initiators of sex. They are taking charge of the finances and they are taking charge of the decision-making within the marriage. As the women are exerting dominance in these areas, men's submissive natures are stirring even more and men desire to be dominated in all areas of their lives by the female gender.
The female dominant nature still lies dormant in many women and it takes a male's submissive nature to draw it out. But as women become more successful and more aggressive in the classroom and in the business world, women will more readily embrace their dominant persona and will gladly accept and even demand their male partner's submission.
The female gives the male what he needs by dominating him and the male gives her his gift by submitting to her and treating her like his Queen. Most women would love to have a husband that loves, honors, worships, and obeys her. The dominant female lives this dream because she has learned how to motivate her man to serve her needs by meeting his need to be dominated. That is the beauty of Female Domination.
In reality, there is no such thing as an equal relationship. A so called 50/50 relationship leads to constant arguments as every decision must be discussed and debated. This leads to hurt feelings and fights. The day people bought into the 50/50 marriage was the day the divorce rate skyrocketed. There has to be final authority in a relationship. Be it on the job with the boss/employee relationship or the family with the parent/child relationship. The same goes for the wife/husband relationship. Men held women down so they could be the outward Head in the marriage relationship but the Genie is out of her bottle and women, like yourself, will no longer accept male rule in the home. Men know they are powerless to the female gender so the 50/50 dogma is their way of maintaining some control. However, more and more women are starting to come to the realization that the female should be the head of the marriage relationship. I hope you can embrace your dominant nature and thus make your dreams come true.
Q. Elise, have you ever heard of a Cybele Marriage? I recently came across the following website (www.geocities.com/cybelemarriage/main.html). I especially like their thoughts on cuckoldry in marriage. This web page also brings up a point that is not addressed much. That is, money. Money is power and as such the one with it has control. I've found that taking legal control of my husband's assets and income has shifted the power dynamic DRASTICALLY. Could you explain to those who read your site what a Cybele marriage is?
A. I posted an article about a Cybele marriage in my FemDom articles section (page 2). This same article by Anthony Merchant is partially published on the site you listed but I posted the article in its entirety.
A Cybele marriage is a Female Dominated marriage. The term Cybele comes from the Goddess Cybele in Greek Mythology. The name Cybele or Cybebe predominates in Greek and Roman literature from about the 5th century BC onward. Cybele was the Titan mother of the Olympian gods, who held domain over fertility and the earth. The Goddess Cybele held significance as a Goddess of the moon and of fertility, but was also worshipped in her earthly aspects as a fertility deity. The moon throughout history has been seen as a symbol of the feminine; its regular cycles correspond to the lifecycles of women.
A cult like religion was formed based on the mythical stories of Cybele. This whole belief was further developed and refined by the Greeks around 6,000 years ago. They created a temple and an order of priesthood. These priests would have to be castrated following a ritual act of sex with the Goddesses representative. They would then serve her for life. To show their devotion they would have to dress in female clothes.
Three thousand years ago the state religion of Phrygia (in what is now Turkey) was centered around the worship of the Mother Goddess, there called Cybele. In many parts of the eastern Mediterranean, the Mother Goddess (under a variety of names), was served by a priesthood that often consisted of feminized males.
The Romans followed a Sibylline prophecy that the enemy could be expelled and conquered if the Goddess were brought to Rome, together with her sacred symbol, a small stone reputed to have fallen from the heavens. By the end of the Roman Republic, the Cybele religion had attained prominence and under the empire it became one of the most important cults in the Roman world.
Cybele's priests, the Galli, castrated themselves on entering her service. The castration was justified by the myth that the Goddess Cybele had a lover, the fertility god Attis. The fable goes that he had emasculated himself under a pine tree, where he bled to death. Violets were created and sprung to life from the blood of Attis. In this fable, the Goddess Cybele later raised Attis from the dead as a woman.
Galli priests, often temple attendants or servants of Cybele and her female representatives, were eunuchs attired in female garb, with long hair fragrant with ointment (representing the masculine taking on the feminine, based on the story of Attis). Together with priestesses, they celebrated the Great Mother's rites with wild music and dancing until their frenzied excitement found its culmination in self-scourging, self-laceration, or exhaustion. Self-emasculation by candidates for the priesthood sometimes accompanied this delirium of worship. They would accept flagellation by women for the sins of the patriarchy (male dominance).
What is amazing to me is how the more things change, the more they remain the same. The desires of men to worship and serve dominant women have always existed. There are many similarities to what these men did to worship women and what men desire today, even though 99% of submissive men today know nothing about the pagan religion of Cybele, which existed in ancient Greek and Rome thousands of years ago.
Do you see the similarities? The priests of this cult were feminized, kept chaste through castration, whipped by women, and lived a life of serving women. What this tells me is that these males had the same desires as our modern males. We are more educated today and live in a non-pagan society but the same desires still exist within men. They want to worship and serve women. They want to be feminized, punished, castrated through orgasm denial and enforced chastity, and controlled by the gender they perceive as being superior. It is no coincidence that these rituals existed in past civilizations. There is something within man that desires to worship and submit to women. No mater how educated or civilized he may become, those same core desires within man still exist. They are expressed differently today, within the structures of our institutions and society, but the similarities exist because the nature of man is still the same.
So a modern Cybele marriage, be it spiritual or just a way of bonding in a FemDom marriage in a secular way, consists of the following. The relationship is based on the devotion of the male to honor and obey the female and to show respect for her wishes and to serve her. The male exhibits his devotion through chastity, as the Galli would through castration. The husband regularly endures flagellation from his wife to pay for the sins of the male dominance of the past and to serve as a reminder of the damage done. The husband allows the wife to enjoy her sexual liberation and have sex as often as she wishes and with whom she wishes (cuckolding). The wife owns everything and controls the finances (I agree with you that this gives the woman the ultimate power in a relationship). In a Cybele marriage, the wife is made to feel the relationship centers around her.
A Cybele marriage is just another form of a Female Domination marriage. Some people like this term because of how it relates to past civilizations and cultures that exalted and worshipped women. Like I have said many times, the FemDom lifestyle is a large umbrella with many forms and expressions. Each couple must choose which form of the FemDom lifestyle bests fits them. Label it what you will but at its core nature, it is all about the female dominating and controlling the male. It is about the wife dominating and controlling her husband. No matter how the world changes over time, the desire of man to submit to the female will exist and be expressed.
Remember that mythology was written primarily by men. The mythical Goddess Cybele was created in the minds of men. It is no different than the FemDom stories, websites and literature that men create today to express their fantasies and desires. Men of old flocked to this religion just like men of today flock to FemDom websites. Men of old attended these ritual ceremonies just like men of today attend fetish events. Men of old visited the temple to worship the female representatives of Cybele just like men of today visit Professional Dommes to worship and serve a woman (especially one who knows she is superior to men and who will put them in their place). The more things change, the more they remain the same. But what would a man rather be, a devoted submissive husband or a castrated Galli priest?
The good news for modern males is that the societal evolution that is taking place is accelerating the liberation and dominance of women. Women are beginning to gain control not only over the marriage relationship but also over every aspect of our society. This is bringing out the submissive nature within men at an even stronger intensity. The bottom line is that Cybele is a Goddess, just like Isis or Venus or the many other Goddesses that men have sought to worship. There is no need for man to worship the female via a mythical Goddess or cult. Today a man can worship the female through his earthly Goddess, namely his wife. Every marriage can be a Cybele marriage if the husband is committed to serving his wife and putting her needs ahead of his own. Every marriage can be a Cybele marriage as long as the husband views his wife as his earthly Goddess.
Q. Ms. Sutton, I was hoping that you might be able to shed some light on a question I have been
thinking about. As I understand it, and correct me if I'm wrong, female supremacists believe that females are inherently better than males. The reasoning for this is that women are more empathetic, moral, intelligent, emotionally mature etc.
I have a hard time coming to terms with that fact that just because a person has a penis, that person is automatically considered instinctively inferior to someone who has a vagina. If I have mis-characterized female supremacist beliefs you will have to forgive me for I am a novice on the subject. Any clarification or insight would be appreciated.
A. Men and women are different. That difference goes far beyond the biological fact that a man has a penis and a woman does not. The nature of Woman is different then the nature of man. They are different mentally, emotionally, sexually and biologically. Study after study has revealed the difference in the sexes. Read the many entries on my "Mainstream Articles" section to learn about the differences between the sexes and how women are flexing their superiority in the classroom, in the business world and more importantly, within female/male relationships. I have this section on my site so people can see that my philosophy is not merely my opinion based on my own writings but the societal evolution that is occurring is being noticed my men and women from all walks of life, political ideology and religious beliefs. I have believed in the superiority of women for decades but now it is becoming more obvious to the mainstream that takes the time to really study this subject.
I cannot speak for all women who call themselves Female Supremacists. I like to use that label because of the psychological effects it has on men. The very terms Female Supremacy or Female Superiority stirs the submissive nature within men and causes them to become aroused. So I like to use that terminology when what I really believe in is Loving Female Authority.
I do not believe that women are better then men. I have said over and over again that I do not consider women to be better, of more worth or of more value then men. I simple believe that women are better equipped to lead the marriage and society. I have written in depth on this subject and all you need to do is study my site in more detail to learn what I believe about the genders.
Men are equipped with certain gifts and traits and women are equipped with certain gifts and traits. They are not equal but one is no better then the other. In my opinion, society would be better off if women were in charge and I believe that is where we are headed. Men are desiring for women to take charge and it is beginning to happen. Women are becoming the dominant gender but they are equipped with a nature to rule with loving authority, being both tough and nurturing. Men need this and men desire this. My philosophy is a positive for both genders.
Q. As a regular visitor of your website, I 'd like to ask you one question: What is your opinion about parenthood?
Personally I'm very much in favor of traditional family life. That is to say, in my view the ideal environment for a child is a family with a caring mother and a caring father. It may well be the case that society is better off with female-dominated family life. But I am afraid that the ultimate consequence of "matriarch" thinking is the wholesale abandonment of father/mother families. As you phrase it: women are the ones who give birth to children and who raise them. So why would there be a role for fathers?
I think this might be a very important issue for the near future. Do you have an opinion on this?
A. I think you have misunderstood what I have said about female led families. I never said that women should solely raise children. What you are paraphrasing is my observations about how nature implants into males the desire for loving female authority as female authority figures discipline and nurture young boys as a natural function of the rearing of children. Women are by nature loving and nurturing toward children yet female authority figures often must also be disciplinarians in order to properly train and guide children toward proper behavior. The combination of a woman being both strict and nurturing implants the desire within young boys for female domination once they become adults. That is a far cry from saying that women should solely raise children.
I agree with you that children need both a caring mother and a caring father. But how does a female led marriage prevent men from being caring fathers? Are you saying that men must be in charge in order for them to be a good parent? A father can earn a living and thus assist in the financial needs of the family. A father can do household chores to assist in the domestic needs of the family. A father can spend both quality and quantity time with his children to assist in the emotional needs of the children. I don't see how the woman being in charge would prevent the father from his family and marital responsibilities.
In fact, as I have pointed out many times before, a family where the father is in submission to the mother is the healthiest family model for children (in my opinion). The submissive man is less likely to neglect his children and his family responsibilities if he is accountable to the dominant wife. A husband who is under the control of his wife will be more attentive to his financial, domestic and family responsibilities. The mother who has regular discipline and domination sessions with her husband (behind closed doors, away from the children) will demand obedience from him and will use her position of authority over him to ensure that he fulfills his family responsibilities.
Contrast this with most so-called traditional patriarchal families and I think you will find that the submissive husband is a better role model for children. Look at how many single mother homes exist in our society because the father has neglected his parental responsibilities. Look at how many fathers become workaholics and use the excuse of their careers to justify neglecting their families. Look at how many men in our society impregnate women but never assume their parental responsibilities. Men are neglecting their family obligations at an epidemic proportion in our so-called patriarchal society. So why would you be fearful of a matriarchal society? It seems that the so-called traditional family model is failing in today's society, as both parents must make a living to keep up with the financial responsibilities of the family.
Is your concern that the career woman will not be as nurturing toward her children than she otherwise would be if she were a stay at home mom? Today's financial challenges almost make it a necessity for both parents to earn a living unless one of the spouses makes a comfortable enough living to afford the other spouse to stay home with the children. Thus, it is more vital than ever that the father fulfills his family responsibilities. The career mother needs a submissive husband who will assist her with the rearing of the children and the domestic chores around the house. Our current society is in need of a female led marriage because men need loving female authority in order to fulfill their parental and husbandly responsibilities. A man who is not under the authority of a woman is more likely to neglect his family obligations.
Studies have shown that men are far more likely to leave their children and neglect their obligations than women. No matter how career minded a woman may become, it is very rare for a woman to neglect her children. The natural nurturing instinct of the female keeps her children's well-being at the forefront of her thoughts. A career woman is every bit as capable of providing the proper amount of nurturing to her children as the stay at home mother. Unfortunately, many mothers are stressed out because the father is not pulling his weight. A female domination marriage ensures that the father pulls his weight and than some as the dominant wife ensures her husband fulfills his obligations by dominating him in the bedroom. What takes place in the bedroom will usually carry over into life outside the bedroom.
Finally, a couple important observations need to be made. If a woman decides she wants to be a stay at home mother, that does not mean she cannot still be the head of her marriage. Some women demand that their husbands earn the finances to support the family while the dominant wife chooses to spend more time with her children. Such a family model can still be a female domination marriage. Then there is also the growing family model where the wife chooses to work because her earning potential is far greater than her husband but she demands that her husband be a stay at home father in order to maintain her home and care for the needs of the children. Again, this family model works best in a female domination marriage, as the submissive husband is more likely to be at ease as a stay at home father if his wife is dominating him.
The bottom line is that in a female led marriage, the female makes these decisions and the male obeys her decisions. Because the female is nurturing toward her children, she will make decisions that are best for her children and she will use her authority to ensure that her submissive husband fulfills his family responsibilities. Thus, the children are raised by both parents in a home full of harmony and love.