Going Hollywood: Questions about Female Domination and Pop Culture

Q. Elise, my husband and I rented "The General's Daughter" the other night and we were surprised that there was a D&S scene that showed the general's daughter sexually dominating a man on a video tape. However, we were disappointed that the movie implied that the reason she was into this lifestyle was because she had been a rape victim and that she liked to dominate men to get back at them. Did you see this movie and if so, what did you think about it?

A. Yes, I saw The General's Daughter. Anytime a movie comes along that has any kind of Female Domination scenes in them, I usually find out from my clients. Men are always quick to tell me about them. I debated about whether to see this movie or not, as I abhor any movies that are violent, especially against women.

However, since two of my favorite male actors were in this movie, John Travolta and James Woods, I decided to go see it. I should have stuck to my original feeling, and stayed home. It wasn't a very good movie. I had hope for it at first. The general's daughter was a natural Dominant. She excelled in a male's organization (the military), she was a tom-boy and athletic, she was intelligent, bright, and beautiful.

I would imagine such a woman would have scored very high on the Dominant Female analysis. The video scenes where she was dominating a hooded submissive seemed perfectly legitimate to me. I would imagine D&S is quite popular in the military, especially with women officers in the military.

However, Hollywood had to take their normal approach to D&S and female domination. They like to incorporate it in some movies because they know that it will draw male viewers, but than they wimp out by approaching it as if it is a mental disorder or sickness. I hate this because movies like this only makes things that much more difficult for submissive men to introduce this lifestyle to their wives. Women will go to see this movie because of John Travolta, and this image of a mentally disturbed young woman who practiced D&S because she was raped, will stay with them. Then if their husbands try to have a serious discussion about their submissive desires, there is a good chance some women will throw this movie in their face and accuse their husbands of being "sick". It just makes my job harder. I am hoping that one day, Hollywood will produce a main stream movie about female domination and show the positive side of it. I will not hold my breath, however.

Q. In the movie "Auto Focus" which is now available on video and DVD, they have a scene of FemDom that beautifully describes subspace. I'll paraphrase the scene: after meeting a Dominatrix Bob Crane explains to a friend,

"It's like nothing I've ever experienced.  You know that feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster? Right as you go over the top? You know as you're headed down your heart jumps to your throat.  Imagine that feeling and getting off at the same time.  Your heart just goes Thump, thump thump."

The FemDom screen is only 1 minute in length but still pretty compelling. The scene is about 1 hour and 12 minutes into the movie, in case you rent it.

A. I did rent it and I agree with your assessment on his description of subspace. However, overall the scene was very confusing and disappointing. Here he meets this woman in a bar who tells him that she is a Dominatrix and she demands that he addresses her as Mistress. In a voice over, he makes the statement about subspace but the movie shows nothing transpiring between the two of them. I wanted to know what happened after the bar? Where did they go? What did she do to him? What happened afterwards? If he enjoyed being dominated so much, why did he continue his destructive promiscuous sexual lifestyle where he used women? Why didn't he pursue exploring his submissive desires?

I thought that perhaps future scenes with the Mistress were cut but there were no scenes of her in the deleted scenes section on the DVD. So in a movie that portrays lots of sexual activity and shows lots of nudity, it is obvious the filmmakers ignored Mr. Crane's interest in the D&S scene. The movie only briefly mentioned it twice (the scene you described and later Mr. Crane's mentioned that Atlanta had a big "D&S scene").

This movie will not appeal to people who are interested in FemDom or D&S as it wets your appetite but than never follows through. There are no D&S scenes but rather scenes of orgies and swingers. Nevertheless, I thank you for sharing this movie with me and I agree with you that his description of subspace is well written. It is obvious that the writer of that scene either had first hand experience or talked with someone who had first hand experience with D&S.

Usually when Hollywood shows a scene involving Female Domination they do it as being humorous. This is evident in films like "One Night at McCool's", "Exit To Eden", "My Tutor" and "Real Men". The best portrayal I have seen of a Dominatrix was last season on an episode of "CSI". There was a portrayal of a Professional Mistress who ran a Domination House in Las Vegas and she was portrayed as being intelligent, beautiful confident and powerful. This prime-time television program actual showed some brief scenes of D&S (both FemDom and MaleDom). While watching that episode of "CSI", I had to wonder why Hollywood refuses to display Female Domination in a similarly realistic light?

Q. Hello Ma'am, I was wondering if You were aware of any memorable film or video works that explore FemDom well? The same goes for books and publications. There's a lot of hit and miss material out there but I would like to think that someone with Your experience might be able to recommend (even somewhat cheesy!) videos, books, magazines etc perhaps as an addition to Your great site.

I find myself at a loss at times to source good literature, and have never seen even a barely tolerable FemDom video. Perhaps the regular visitors to this site could submit hit/miss hot/not choices in general media? I would start the ball rolling by highly recommending Eric Stanton's `Dominant Housewives and other stories' (see my review on Amazon.com, I'm the guy from the UK). Also I have read an excellent autobiography of a Dominatrix from London called `Dominatrix; The making of Mistress Chloe'.

Any ideas? Thanks again for a wonderful site!

A. Ok, why not allow your question to begin a resource list? If anyone has seen a quality movie, video, book, website or magazine about Female Domination, please feel free to e-mail the title along with a brief description to me and put "Resource Material" in the subject area. If I get enough quality responses, I will build a resource list and post it on my site.

I have already listed quality books in the past on my Q&A Forum and we have discussed some mainstream movies with FemDom scenes. Why don't I list some of the mainstream movies that I have seen with FemDom scenes in them?

Movies with FemDom scenes: My Tutor; The Choir Boys; Real Men; One Night at McCool's, Exit To Eden, Auto Focus, The General's Daughter.

FemDom videos: I like Ona Zee's FemDom videos. "Couples in Bondage" was good as was the first three installments of her "Learning The Ropes Series (Female Dominant and male submissive)". Her husband topped from below far too often for my taste but Ona brings a nice blend of sexuality and dominance to the screen.

For discipline and corporal punishment videos, Syren Productions have some serious action. I like Mistress Persephone in "Governess Persephone" and in "The Battered Husband". There is something about seeing a fully dressed shapely, dominant female who severely disciplines a naked male. I have recommend these two videos as being good for doing my procedure number 15.

The Goddess Club website (see my links) sells some non-pornographic and mild FemDom videos that women may enjoy.

Books I recommend: "Venus in Furs", "The Mistress Manual", "The Sexually Dominant Woman, a workbook for nervous beginners", "The Art of Sensual Female Dominance", "Charm School for Sissy Maids", and "Some Women". (I am the process of writing a book so hopefully it will be on everyone's list when it is published).

Magazines: "Dominant Directory International", The old "Attitude" magazines when they were published by Dianna Vesta, and "WHAP (Women Who Administer Punishment)".

Websites: Go to my Links section for a good place to start.

Feel free to add your own entries to these lists.

Q. Dear Miss Sutton, Congratulations with your excellent site. I am a single male, currently not under loving Female Authority but a firm believer in Female Supremacy.  Last week I saw the Hollywood motion picture "What Women Want" on television. I'd seen it before but than I didn't realize that it's actually a strong testimony about The Superiority of Women and Loving Female Authority. The fact that the film was made is another sign of the inevitable: The Future is Female. I see these signs every day.

I think within 5 years a group of Women will stand up that openly proclaims Female Superiority. This will be extremely provocative for the male ego and his submissive nature underneath it. What would you think of such clear statement proclaimed by Women, and why don't you go for such a strong Female Power Movement?

A. The director of "What Women Want" is Nancy Meyers and she just directed and helped write ''Something's Gotta Give" starring Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson. She also did "The Father of the Bride" movies as well as the recent remake of "The Parent Trap". Nancy Meyers has strong women in her movies that portray a feminist and dominant persona. In "Something's Gotta Give" the fifty-five year old female character played by Diane Keaton dates a thirty-six year old handsome doctor. Nancy Meyers regularly turns the table on society by showing that women can be the dominant gender. In "Something's Gotta Give", the Jack Nicholson character represents the old guard of an aging bachelor who only dates young women. Diane Keaton represents the new guard as she is pursued by a younger man. The theme here is that a women in her fifties is still sexual and desirable plus she is wise and dominant. Ultimately the Jack Nicholson character realizes this as well.

"What Women Want" was a clever movie in that it used a comedy to teach men what women are truly seeking in a man as the Mel Gibson character is able to hear the thoughts of women. His macho persona and masculine ways were transformed into a more submissive and sensitive male from his experience and education into the mind of the female.

As more women gain power in Hollywood and the entertainment business, you will see more films like this. As is the case in all societal institutions, women are gaining in power and thus influence. The strong, intelligent and dominant female is being celebrated in movies, television and advertising. Be it the leather-clad, ass-kicking, physically powerful women in movies like "Matrix Revolutions" or "Charlie's Angels" or the more subtle and realistic movies about female empowerment like "What Women Want". Men desire powerful women and women are beginning to desire to be in charge.

But there is no need for a Female Power Movement, as you suggest. Society is naturally evolving toward female rule and women are being empowered with each passing generation. The nature of man wants women to dominate him and to rule him with loving female authority. Women are beginning to embrace the dominant role and this is good news for women, men and society.

Q. Dear Elise, Have you ever thought about creating/producing your own movies? Something that shows real-looking people in real-looking situations. Something that is not found anywhere (or is rally hard to find).  I believe you could be the FIRST popular movie "brand" of FemDom to show the whole side of it. Something with class that involves real Female Domination and Loving Female Authority.

But of course, hard core scenes of humiliation and strap-on play and whipping (you have to remember your market!!) would be interspersed throughout your movies.  You could be the start of a new type of "porn". Something the women AND the men will enjoy.  Your movies may one day become part of the giggly chats with the girls as they go out on their "girls nights", or in coffee shops across the country over whispered conversation.

I'd like to see some really great Femdom/LFA movies out there! Get them on DVDs in anticipation of the mass market! Sell them in stores in our local towns and cities so that it feels more "normal" to be watching them (do you know what I mean?). We could all be looking back some day in the future, remembering how "strange" it seemed at the time to see the FemDom market take hold of society, and how much the country and the world have changed since then.

A. I think that is a fantastic idea. I have often thought about that myself, like every time I view an Adult oriented or D&S related video. I have actually jotted down some story lines that I think would make for a fantastic erotic film. The biggest problem with the hardcore BDSM videos is that the viewer cares nothing about the players. Sure, some of the D&S action can stimulate arousal in men but theses videos will rarely appeal to women and even some men who watch them might feel a sense of lack of fulfillment and in some cases even feel cheapened.

The reason for this is because when we view our fellow human beings in an (how can I say this?) unloving and negative light, it is certain to touch our spirits in a negative light as well. Deep inside, we all know that people are beautiful and special creations, so when we see strangers engaging in extreme D&S activities with no plot and no reason, we get the sense that the players are not being fulfilled sexually. Most of these videos go right into the action so we do not care about the players as people, thus they are dehumanized and we feel bad about this. At least I do.

Again, men are far more able to watch strangers have sex and engage in D&S practices and become aroused. Most women are different and that is why most women will only watch erotic films with their partner. Having their sexual partner there gives the female the intimacy that is lacking on the screen, thus she can enjoy the sex that is taking place on the screen far better if her partner is there to touch and interact with. Men can watch these films totally alone and get aroused. This is because men are visually oriented and women are sensually oriented when it comes to sexuality.

I think Adult oriented films that would feature Loving Female Authority would be very erotic and thus popular with both sexes. I believe films that were about a wife who sexually dominates her husband would be particularly popular. Having scenes where the man bathes the wife, massages the wife, and pampers her would be very erotic (especially for the female) and this can then lead to scenes where the wife spanks her husband and even administers a session of corporal punishment. When you first see the love, then the D&S takes on a whole new meaning and it becomes beautiful as well as erotic. The film could end with the wife being orally pleasured by the disciplined husband in a very sexual and erotic scene.

If a film would first establish the mutual love and respect between the female and the male, then the D&S would not come across as being abusive or demeaning. There could even be extreme sessions where the wife verbally humiliates her husband, engages in intense D&S scenarios with him, perhaps even cuckolding. But the viewer will understand these activities and their meaning far better if they have a sense of the worshipful manner in which the man views the female. That would require well-written and descriptive dialogue, which can only be written by people who actually live the FemDom lifestyle. By in large, the porn industry is only concerned about profit and not artistic value. Thus they produce BDSM and Fetish videos without any comprehension of what their targeted audience is truly seeking. That is why 90% of what is out there as far as BDSM, FemDom and Fetish media is pure junk (in my opinion). 

So if there is anyone out there that produces videos and DVD's, feel free to contact me and I would be more than happy to share my ideas and my vision for quality FemDom films. As this question indicates, I believe there would be a big market for tastefully done erotica about loving female authority. Women make up for more than 50% of the population so when the porn industry produces stuff that is totally geared toward men, they greatly limit their potential consumer base.

Return To Q&A Forum