Real Life Stories - Entries for June 2009
From Cindy B:
Hi, Elise. I wanted to share how female domination has improved one part my marriage. Actually, it has improved many areas of my marriage but it seemed that my husband would bitch and complain most often about how long it took me to get ready when we would go out for the evening.
Prior to discovering your site and the female domination lifestyle, I would read a host of relationship books and articles. A common male complaint was how long it took their wives to get ready and how frustrated they would become having to wait. Never mind the fact that we are making ourselves beautiful for them. The male nature is an impatient nature.
What men need to realize is that most of us women do not know for sure how long it’s going to take so when we say we will be five minutes, a man should not take us so literally. I guess this is part of the Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars stereotype, and there is some truth to this. We are different however I feel that Venus is a Goddess, am I not right? Thus what right does a man have to bitch about how long his Goddess takes to make herself beautiful?
My husband would become so frustrated and it would end up ruining our entire evening on many occasions. We would be all excited about going out but he would develop an attitude when my five minutes turned into a half hour and I had to rush, I always felt rushed. Now, thanks to female domination, I have rectified the situation.
I began to take the advice I read on your site about having discipline sessions with my husband. We are not into BDSM and I don’t even own a whip. However, I began to administer over the lap spankings to my husband prior to me getting ready for a night out. I will shower and dress in only bra and panties and call my husband into the bedroom. I put him across my lap and give him a sound spanking with my hairbrush. As I do this, I remind him that I am his Goddess and that he is blessed to live with a Goddess. I make him reaffirm his devotion to me and I ask him if he is going to wait patiently for me while I finish getting ready. He becomes especially agreeable and submissive when I am done spanking him.
Then he is to sit in a chair and watch me get ready. By doing this I am teaching him patience. He is not permitted to watch television or get on the computer to talk on the phone. He has to sit in the chair and watch his Goddess finish her hair, put on her make-up, get dressed, select her jewelry and try on different shoes. My husband is now part of the process and I will ask him which shoes he likes the best.
After I am ready, my husband gets dressed (and I now must approve what he selects to wear) and we head out for the evening. This routine has caused a real renewal in passion and romance. I do this routine not only at home, but also when we are on vacation. My husband would get more impatient when we were on vacation because he was so eager to get out and about. But now I spank him in the hotel room and he must sit and watch his Goddess get ready.
Elise’s Response:
Cindy, I love it!!! What a wonderful and creative way to use female domination to take what was an adversarial circumstance and turn it into a fun, sexy and exciting ritual. Women have such power, if only they would use it.
Your husband didn’t enjoy being an impatient jerk anymore than you enjoyed having to put up with his impatience. But like you said, he is a man and he needed that negative male trait to be tamed and brought under female control and female authority. Now it is a win/win situation. You get to take your time when you prepare for a night out, and he gets the privilege of watching and assisting his Goddess.
I am sure other women will utilize this same practice, or so they should. Thanks for sharing and take care.
From Jeremiah D:
Dear Ms Sutton, my wife and I read with great interest the installments in Predominant about Ashley and Jack and their secret rubber room. The pictures of their rubber room along with how they constructed it were absolutely great.
We discussed building our own rubber room but have decided that it’s not feasible right now with our current lifestyle and home situation. However we enjoyed reading about the enema session between and Ashley and Jack (July/August 2006) and we loved the pictures of the enema bag and nozzle she used on him. We purchased the exact same enema equipment after reading their story and I would like to share a recent experience we had with the enema equipment.
We do not have an elaborate set-up at our home. We always “play” in our bedroom. The enema equipment is perfect because it can be folded up and put away inside the bag it came in and stored in one of my wife’s dresser drawers. She has a wooden paddle, a short riding crop, her strap-on and a couple of dildos (one for her, one for me) that she keeps in a dresser drawer close to our bed.
My wife was wearing a black lingerie set (bra and panties) with black fishnet stockings. She looks like a goddess in this outfit as the outfit matches her beautiful shoulder length black hair. My wife had me lay naked on my side on our bed and she lubricated the aluminum butt plug shaped nozzle and inserted it inside me. My wife got a pitcher of lukewarm water (within the safe temperature parameters that Ashley set forth in Predominant) and she filled the black pumpkin bag with the pitcher and held the bag about two feet above. She released the clasp and allowed the warm water to flow inside me, which heated up the butt plug nozzle. I was able to take the enema with little problem.
My wife left the nozzle inside me and laid the now empty bag on a towel on the side on the bed (still connected to the nozzle via the rubber tubing) and she had me roll over on my back. My wife began to tease me, sucking and biting my nipples, lightly fondling my penis and my balls. I was very excited but I was unable to get a full erection due to the enema waters inside of me. My wife taunted me about how she only put one small pitcher of water in the enema bag and that she was going easy on me.
Borrowing from what Ashley did to Jack in the rubber room, my wife removed her panties, climbed on me and sat her ass on my face and order me to kiss it and tongue it. It was a remarkable feeling to be servicing my wife with an enema inside me. I serviced her ass for a good five minutes.
My wife went and got a large plastic glass from the kitchen and filled it with warm water and returned to the bedroom. She raised the enema bag into the air and poured the water into the bag and she took her other hand and released the clasp allowing the additional water to flow inside me. I was now beginning to feel a strong urge to get to a bathroom. However, she had other plans.
She kept the enema nozzle inside me and once again laid the empty enema bag on the towel on the edge of our bed. She climbed back on top of me, and guided my semi-erect penis into her pussy and she had sex with me while I was full of the enema waters. Her weight on my body made the pressure of the water even more intense.
She humiliated me about my pitiful situation, being unable to get a full erection, and she removed me from inside her and she straddled my face and ordered me to bring her to orgasm with my tongue. I went into subspace and I lost myself at my wife’s womanly altar. I pleasured her and she climaxed not once, but twice.
My wife told me that she had one more surprise for me. She opened her drawer and got out the wooden paddle. She wanted to spank me while I still had the water inside. The thought excited me but unfortunately, when I shifted positions and climbed over her lap, the pressure in my stomach became too much to bare. After only the first whack from her paddle, I begged my wife to allow me to use the bathroom. Although the nozzle was secure inside me, I was still afraid that it might come out from the force of the water that was begging to be released.
My wife gave me one more hard whack, and she gave me permission to use the bathroom. I took the enema bag with me and rushed to the bathroom, while my wife waited for me in the bedroom.
When I came back, I was totally relaxed and exhausted. My wife had me crawl back across her lap and she gave me ten more smacks with her paddle but she lovingly caressed my red cheeks afterwards and she allowed me to snuggle next to her in bed. She was relaxed from her orgasms and I was relaxed from the enema. I felt nurtured by her and conquered by her. We snuggled all night long until we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Elise’s Response:
Thank you, Jeremiah, for sharing that most intimate experience. Based on the feedback I received from the readers of Predominant, you and your lovely wife were not alone in your enjoyment of Ashley and Jack’s journal about their rubber room and enema play.
You mentioned Ashley’s safety advice and for those that are not subscribers to Predominant, I think it is important that I re-post that here. Ashley shared the following:
-- The average colon can handle two quarts and most can handle up to 4 quarts, although a 3 to 4 quart enema will not be the most comfortable experience for the patient (i.e. submissive). The 3 liter pumpkin-style bag I had purchased held close to 4 quarts of water.
-- Cold enemas will make the rectum spasm and thus cause bad cramping and might force an accident sooner than what is wanted. The desirable temperature of enema water should be between 100 and 107 degrees. Anything over 115 degrees could be very dangerous. So I went to the drug store and bought myself a bath thermometer.
-- It is best to hold the enema bag about two feet above the submissive’s body and it is best for him to be lying on his stomach or his left side (not his right side because you need the colon to be even or below the rectum). Having him lying on his back is also acceptable but you must be careful of an accidental release or dripping. You must make sure that water does not have to run uphill when giving an enema.
-- Some dominant women like to hold the enema bag up high (well above the two feet level) when administering an enema, as that makes the water rush in faster and is more intense to the submissive. The holding high of an enema bag is a sign of power. The submissive’s legs quiver and goose bumps makes every hair stand on end as a torrent of water fills his rectum. He will be forced to squeeze and hold on with an intensity not often remembered since toilet training. By holding the enema bag high up, the submissive will usually have cramps, similar to severe gas pains. But you have to be careful because holding the bag high for the majority of an enema opens up the chance for injury to a weak colon. If you are not an advanced enema player, it is recommended to keep the bag around two feet above the submissive which allows for a slow, steady infilling.
-- It is best to give enemas in stages and not all at once. The experience will be more memorable to the submissive if you fill him with 1 to 1.5 quarts, stop the flow, wait a few minutes, massage his stomach and thighs, then fill him with another 1 to 1.5 quarts, wait a few minutes, then if you think he can handle it, fill him with the final quart.
And since Jeremiah mentioned the pictures that accompanied Ashley and Jack’s journal, I think it appropriate to share a couple of pictures that ran in Predominant so the readers of my site can get a feel for what this enema equipment looks like.
Thanks again, Jeremiah, for sharing.
From Danielle H:
Ms. Sutton, I am a dominant woman - I have known for most of my life that I have some dominant tendencies. I always imagined being married to a man who would obey me, serve me, and accept my punishments when he misbehaved. In essence, a slave, although only recently have I begun to use that particular word.
For most of my life, I never knew that there were people who actually lived this way. I discovered the "lifestyle" a couple of years into college, when a friend, who was involved in a BDSM club, was telling me about it one late night. I didn't say much, but was almost sick to my stomach, I was so excited - not that I wanted to jump right in and join, but just at the thought that all of the fantasies I'd had, people actually DID this! I literally didn't sleep for days.
I finally got up the courage to ask my friend more, and she invited me to come to a meeting, and even to watch a "scene" between her and one of her slaves. I was fascinated, but it wasn't really what I was looking for. I explained that I was looking more for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with a man who would submit to me. Immediately, she said "I've got the guy for you," and said that she knew a guy who had been into the scene, but now was looking for something like I wanted.
Anyway, a few weeks later, she introduced me to Chris. While he was older than I expected, we hit it off well. We started dating, and because of the person who introduced us, we each knew that the other was interested in a female-led relationship. So it didn't take long for me to take control. I began to set rules for Chris, and require him to serve me, in more and more personal ways. First it was cooking me dinner regularly, then it was kneeling to present dinner to me, then it was kneeling at my feet for a good part of most evenings, massaging them, then it was kissing my feet as he massaged them. He was a very good slave, but occasionally I had to punish him, usually by spanking and grounding. I knew that Chris had some experience in BDSM, so I was a bit self-conscious. I didn't really know what I was doing. But Chris never made me feel like a bad Domme - he did his best to obey me completely, and be a good boy. And my confidence grew.
That began three years ago. Six months ago, he asked me to marry him. I asked him if he knew what that meant - that he would be promising to serve me as my slave for life. He said yes - and I said yes! Since we've been engaged, I've been more strict with him. For the first time, I've required him to ask me for permission to masturbate, and emphasized that it was only to be an occasional privilege. He's done his best to obey, but failed a few times. But he's been very open about how hard it is to resist, and that got me wondering, so one night we had a long talk about his sexual history.
Let me explain - I'm 23, and a virgin. I've always believed that sex is for marriage only. Chris has known this, and agreed early on in our relationship that there would be no sex, or even any sexual situations, until marriage. We kiss, and hug, and make out - but no fondling, no undressing. Until we were engaged, I only spanked Chris over his underpants. Once we were engaged, I made an exception, and spank him on his bare bottom, but that's the only time either of us is partially undressed in front of the other. I've also explained that when we're married, sex as he may have imagined it will also be an occasional privilege - more often, it will be him pleasing me, and me occasionally letting him have a little relief. And Chris is fine with this. Sex is to be When I Say, How I Say, within Marriage.
Chris is 30. I knew, of course, when we met that he had been involved in BDSM, and had had those experiences. I asked him early on, and he told me that he wasn't a virgin. I was disappointed - my fairy tale has always been to have a man, who has saved his entire sexuality for me, give it completely to me, and put me in control of it for life. I dealt with it, though. But after our long talk, I found that he has had four "vanilla" partners - two of those were girlfriends, but two were just casual acquaintances. And his masturbation habits, before I took over them, were startling to me. I know it's normal these days, and I know in some ways I'm very old fashioned, but it sort of pissed me off.
Still, I love Chris, and I am looking forward to a life with him serving me. I've decided to try to move past it by punishing him for each of his past sexual relationships. I've explained everything to him, and he's accepted it. It seemed strange to him at first, but I've explained myself, and he understands my beliefs and how, even though he didn't know me yet, I feel he was betraying me all of those times. Anyway, the first week of the New Year, Chris was grounded. And the first four nights of the year, he received a moderate to severe whipping - one for what he did with Sara, one for what he did with Rachel, one for what he did with Alisa, and one for what he did with Samantha. He confessed all the details he could remember, and listened to me describe how each relationship had disappointed me, and then he apologized.
After that, we began anew, and he is in my eyes, a virgin. And in April, we'll be married in church, and after the reception, at home, in front of the two friends who know about our unusual arrangement, he will promise to serve and obey me forever, and we'll be off to our honeymoon, where, bit by bit, I'll reintroduce him to sexuality, in whatever ways I decide.
Elise’s Response:
Danielle, I am glad to hear that the female domination lifestyle was able to help you and Chris bury the past and set a new course for your future. Whatever happened in the past does not matter. What is important is that the two of you love each other and are committed to each other. What matters is that Chris is dedicated to serving you. He has proven to you his devotion and that is why you have decided that he is worthy of the highest of honors, the honor of marrying you.
I can certainly understand your disproval of his past relationships but always remember that life is a journey and he was seeking his earthly Goddess, that special dominant woman, his soul-mate. He finally found you and he is indeed a blessed man. I wish you both a wonderful wedding, a blessed honeymoon, and above all, a prosperous marriage based on loving female authority.
*** Note - More Real Life Experiences in the May/June Edition of "Predominant"
