Real Life Stories - Entries For November 2009
From Daniel P:
Hello Ms Sutton. I was wondering if you’ve heard of any fetish classification of women who prefer to masturbate over having physical sex with a man. The reason I ask is because my wife is like that. She was not always that way, but when I introduced her to female domination, our sex life has veered off into a most unusual course. My wife likes for me to suck her toes and lightly lick and bite the bottoms of her feet while she masturbates with a vibrator.
It all happened one night, kind of out of the blue. She was wearing this astoundingly sexy outfit and she did a tease and denial session with me. She teased me with her body and she used this black vibrator against my penis and my balls. She brought me to the edge many times, only to turn off the vibrator which left me on the edge and frustrated. The vibrator is not the thin, sleek kind a woman uses to pleasure herself but it is one of those large models with the large, round head that can be used to massage different parts of your body. It felt great against my genitals but my wife did not allow me to climax.
At one point in this tease and denial session, my wife removed her panties and she began to pleasure herself by rubbing the pulsating vibrator against her clit. She placed her stocking covered feet in my face and asked me to suck her toes. I obliged and as I was sucking her toes, she had an intense orgasm. It was so intense that she screamed louder than I had ever heard her when it came to any kind of sex. Her entire body shook during her orgasm.
From that night onward, my wife’s favorite sexual activity is for her to masturbate using the vibrator against her clit while I suck her toes. She wants to do this all the time, or at least when she is in the mood to have sex. She no longer wants to have intercourse with me. She will dominate me by spanking me or playing tease and denial games, but she will always go for her vibrator at some point and she’ll order me to suck her toes. She seldom asks me to do down on her. I miss doing that even more than intercourse. When I verbalized to her how much I miss going down on her, she tells me that she prefers to have me suck her toes because she likes the sensation of having her toes sucked while she is stimulating her clit with the vibrator.
I can tell that she is having great orgasms from how her body quakes and the noises she makes when she is climaxing. I have never witnessed her having orgasms of this intensity from intercourse or from me going down on her. I do not want to deny her this pleasure but I do feel a detachment from the process. I love watching her pleasure herself while I suck her toes but I miss the intimacy.
Is this a common fetish for women? Do you have any suggestions of how I can encourage her to allow me to perform oral sex on her? Thank you, Ms Sutton.
Elise’s Response:
Daniel, Daniel, Daniel! What am I to do with you? Have you not read enough of my site to understand by now that sex is for the woman’s pleasure? You should be ecstatic that your wife is having these types of orgasms. You should be happy for her and you should take some personal satisfaction in that your submission can arouse this kind of passion within her.
You are in no way detached from her sexuality. You are a vital part of her sexuality. She can replace your tongue with her vibrator but she cannot replace your mouth and tongue tending to her feet and toes. Only you can perform that duty and it is a vital part of her sexual fulfillment. The vibrator without you would not accomplish the job. In addition to that, I am sure your submission is what stimulates her mind, which in turn stimulates her pussy. She gets turned on when she dominates you. It arouses her to spank you, to tease you and to deny you. Daniel, you are imperative to her in the bedroom. You arouse her mentally and sexually. However, she needs you at her feet when it comes time for her to experience sexual pleasure.
I can understand how a man feels as if he has lost something special when he is denied access to his Queen’s sacred place, which is her pussy. That is a special place for a submissive man, but being at your Queen’s feet is also a special place, if you will accept it as your special place. She wants you there. That is all you need to know. She is not rejecting you and she is not replacing you with the vibrator. She is a sensual woman and she desires the multiple stimulus of the erotic sensation of having her toes sucked in accordance with having her clitoris stimulated by the vibrator. Perhaps if she had two men there, one at her feet and one between her legs, she could do away with the vibrator. Is that what you want?
I doubt that you do, therefore, be content in the knowledge that your wonderful wife has chosen you to pleasure her in this special way. You being at her feet, while she basks in orgasm after orgasm, is the definition of intimacy within a female domination relationship. You simply need to let go of the past and embrace the present. Become enthralled in her pleasure. It should send shivers across your body and it should stimulate your loins as you watch and listen to your Goddess being consumed with such pleasure.
You are indeed a most fortunate man, Daniel. Recognize the wonderfulness of your marriage and your sex life and celebrate them. I do wish you and your Queen the very best.
From Carl M:
The March/April issue of Predominant 2006 in the Submissive Male’s Journal regarding Ms. Ashley’s sensory deprivation chamber struck a chord with me, as I had considered building a similar sort of subspace for my former wife Anna. Unfortunately, we lived in a condo where such construction was out of the question, but we did casually discuss the matter of designating a "dungeon" space should our relationship have evolved to the point where we purchased a private house.
Anna was fond of what she termed "time outs", contemplative time that I earned by either admiring an attractive woman or by failing to pay complete attention to her. I got a time out, for example, if I appeared flirtatious while greeting a female neighbor, or noticeably gazed at an attractive woman in a shopping mall. Another way to earn a time out involved my conduct over dinner at the neighborhood pub that we frequented. During televised sporting events she would ask for a seat in plain view of the television (a device she called "the male pacifier"). I got a time out if she caught my eyes leaving the table toward the television (or toward one of the many attractive waitresses). This idea was an extrapolation from "The Story of O", recall the dinner scene where the submissives are taunted to look upward from the table and thus earn punishments. Conversely, if I made any commotion during one of the televised dance competitions that engrossed her at home, she wouldn’t hesitate to put me in my ball gag trainer. My job was to keep her wine glass full, and do so silently.
A "time out" for Anna meant me kneeling on the tiled hallway, where she sprinkled rice on the floor, providing a course kneeling surface, with me restrained in my wrist-to-thigh belt, facing a wall while contemplating a photograph of her. Anna had a bright red suit with a short, tight skirt that flattered her very well; the photo she used was one of her wearing this suit along with matching pumps and the shimmering pantyhose that I admire. To be released, I had to wait at least ten minutes (I counted to myself slowly to 600 to make sure I had "made my time good", because if I asked for an early release, Anna would reset her timer), and convince her that I was sufficiently penitent. She would quiz me (for example) as to why I found a baseball game on television more interesting than her, or make me repeat a statement like "You are the most beautiful woman in the world" until the tone of my voice expressed sufficient emotion. On occasion she would also give me several large glasses of water before a time out so that my contrition would be enhanced by an urgency to use the restroom. Had the Hanson Humbler been available then I am certain this would have been standard equipment, as it appears ideal for a "time out".
Of course, no relationship or set of experiences is perfect. There were occasions when I felt a time out was unjustified, and others when I simply was not in a submissive frame of mind and the time out was a genuine discomfort that I tolerated but resented. But most often the time out was a good stress reliever. It provided a framework within which I could comfortably transition from the ordinary world into the world where nothing mattered but Anna. I drew comfort from the high bar of expectation the time out set. It both gave me a clear objective, and defined the behavior that I needed to demonstrate to meet that objective. It broke down emotional barriers and gave me the strength to transition fully into my submissive persona. There were a few occasions when I actually broke down into tears while being contrite. This stunned Anna at first, but we discussed the issue and she grew accustomed to this as merely a mechanism by which I shed my male ego.
When my duration was over and I got released from the belt, quite often I would be so emotionally charged that I would offer myself for a beating and dildoing (these offers were always enthusiastically accepted, with a grin). It was as if the transitory phase of the "time out" gave me the opportunity to focus on Anna and shed any misgivings I harbored about my role in our relationship.
Thanks again for providing a forum through which such experiences can be shared.
Elise’s Response:
Carl, thanks for sharing your experiences with “time-outs”. Ashley’s deprivation chamber is a kind of time-out room. It can also be used as a play-room (a mini-dungeon) but when she locks her husband in there, be it for short or long periods of time, it is a place where he is forced to focus on his wife and his submission. It is a place where the other cares of the world and his other interests are not allowed to enter.
But as you correctly point out, one does not have to build a rubber room in order to incorporate time-outs. Corner time can be very effective, as can kneeling time or any form of bondage. The rubber room makes it easier for the submissive because he has no choice once he is locked in his chamber. But corner time or kneeling time requires more mental discipline on the part of the submissive and thus it requires more of a sacrifice from the submissive.
Regardless, what matters most is the male’s attitude once he is freed from the chamber or from the corner or from the time-out. If he will allow himself to surrender to the punishment and if he will allow himself to enter into subspace by casting aside other thoughts in favor of thoughts focused on his Mistress, he will be in that submissive frame of mind once he is freed. Then he can serve his Mistress with a clear mind and a renewed commitment.
In the end, time-outs are all about attitude adjustments. The mind is like a television and it can be set on a number of channels. The human will is what determines which channel. The male mind that is preoccupied with baseball or has a negative attitude about a life issue simply needs that channel to be changed to a channel that is all about the beauty and the loving authority of his Goddess. A time-out allows the human will to change that channel so new thoughts and new mental pictures can dominate the mind. A time-out allows for that quiet time, it allows for meditation on the female, and it allows the human will to change the channel to that which is truly important in life. Thanks for the feedback.
From John I:
I don’t know if you would consider this experience a female domination encounter or not but it was pretty exciting. I work with this woman who is an absolute Goddess. Her name is Jane and she is around my age (early 40’s) and she is higher up than I in our company and she is working toward her PhD, while I never went beyond my Bachelors. Jane is an incredibly driven woman with lofty goals for herself and her career. Besides being smart and career driven, Jane is also beautiful. She may be the most beautiful woman I know. She is not a super model but she is a natural beauty with the complete package of a pretty face and fit body. She dresses feminine but professional. Her dress highlights that she has a high opinion of herself.
Naturally she is married. Her husband is also successful but they never spend much time together because of their conflicting careers. Both have children from previous marriages and both of their children have entered college. I work with Jane but I only come in contact with her on occasion. Our jobs take us in different directions. She is above me in the company but I do not report directly to her. Yet I always get excited when she gives me an assignment or makes a request of me. I wish I could work for her directly.
Jane has made eye contact with me on more than one occasion that I perceived as her eyeing me over. I always thought that I was over evaluating her posture because why would she be interested in me? I dismissed my excitement as being my personal fantasy and not real. That did not lessen the thrill I got each time she paid me a compliment on how much she liked my tie or how appreciative she was on the work I did for her.
Recently I was chosen to attend a conference. This is rare and in the fifteen years I have worked for this company I can count on one hand the number of times I was sent to a conference. The fact that the conference was on the opposite coast was really exciting. When I inquired who all from our company was going, I was really excited to learn that Jane would be one of the group.
The conference was educational and all business during the day. At night, there were parties and mixers for the conference attendees. This was my first chance to interact with Jane in a casual setting. She hardly talked to me during the conference but the next to last night during a cocktail party I made my way over to her and paid her a compliment on how beautiful she looked. Jane was wearing this black dress and she looked gorgeous. I made my comments in a very flattering way while trying not to come on to her. I tried my best to be professional.
Jane had been drinking and she was looser than I had ever seen her. She was laughing and carrying on with people. When I paid her my compliment, she smiled and thanked me. Later on that night, she sought me out and put her arm around my arm in a casual manner and asked me if I wanted to take a walk around the large hotel where the conference was taking place. She said she wanted to discuss something with me.
We walked to a quiet corner of a hallway in the ballroom area and we were all alone. Jane was talkative and she was sharing with me about how much she loved her job and some of her career aspirations. I listened attentively, encouraging her to tell me more. I think she enjoyed that someone was so interested in her goals. We sat down on this bench and we must have talked for an hour. She did 95% of the talking and I just listened.
It was getting late and she checked her watch and commented about the time and the 8am class she wanted to take the next morning. She thanked me for the discussion and she started to walk away. I thought that was the end to the evening but she turned around and came back to me and told me she had a question she’d been dying to ask me all night. She leaned into me and whispered in my ear “John, would you like to eat my pussy.”
I was stunned. I was so excited that I froze. I nodded my head “Yes” but my mouth went dry and I couldn’t speak. Jane took me by the arm and we walked down the long hall, got on the elevator and headed to her room.
Once inside her hotel room, Jane began to kiss me and she confessed that she has always found me to be attractive. She undressed me and pushed me back onto her bed. She slid off her dress and she was even more beautiful than I had fantasized. We kissed and she rolled over on her back and I made love to her with my tongue. I covered every inch of her body with kisses. I worshiped her that night like I have never worshipped a woman in my life. I felt inferior to her. I felt in awe of her. I felt like I was her servant and I felt like she was a Goddess.
I sucked her magnificent breasts and I dined on her pussy time and time again. She had multiple orgasms and I never wanted the evening to end. When she was satisfied, she rolled me over and I thought she was going to mount me, but she didn’t. She kissed me and she took her hand and stroked me to an orgasm. She did not allow me to enter her.
After I climaxed, she tossed me a towel and then she laid my clothes on the bed and she advised that I go to my room so I would get some sleep for tomorrow morning’s classes. It was now 2am so neither one of us were going to get much sleep.
I got dressed and I was getting ready to leave when she put her arms around me and she thanked me for a wonderful evening. She told me she had not had sex with a man for over three months and she needed this badly. I did not ask her about her husband as I did not want to pry into her personal life. I gave her a kiss and I left.
I hardly saw her or got to talk with her the rest of the conference. She was busy. When we got back home, I saw her at work and I sent a card to her office in which I asked her if she wanted to join me for drinks some night after work. She accepted and we had dinner and the night ended back at my place where I was able to orally service her again. Once again, no intercourse, only a hand job for me.
We talked afterward and she told me that she was currently in a loveless marriage but she wanted to remain semi-faithful, thus the refusal for intercourse. She also told me that she could not date me but that perhaps we could have an occasional fling, as long as I kept it a secret and as long as I allowed her to initiate all contact. I am never allowed to call her. She will call me if she wants to go out. I have not heard from her now for a few weeks but she always gives me a seductive smile when I see her at work.
I know this experience is not your usual female domination story but I view it as a female domination relationship because Jane is in total control. When we had sex, she was in total control and it has been all about her pleasure. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I would love to be her significant other but I realize that is probably never going to happen. I am just thankful that I can serve this powerful woman, both on the job and sexually when she desires it.
Elise’s Response:
John, an experience does not have to involve D&S or whips or leather to be a female domination experience. It doesn’t even have to involve sex. I have posted many stories over the years that revolved around domestic servitude and totally plutonic FemDom relationships.
Your experience was indeed female domination because Jane was in the dominant role and you were in the submissive role. I am sure she could have gotten you to do almost anything that night at the convention. Her dominance over you was complete, as you serviced her in the manner that she wanted.
The key was your submissive posture with her over these many years. You were always eager to please her at work and her dominance sensed that coming from you. It does sound like she was flirting with you some by going out of her way to compliment you. She may not have had sexual thoughts in mind at the time but I venture to guess that her aggressive and dominant side was attracted to your submissive energy. She knew she could have her way with you.
It probably went against her better judgment to pursue a sexual relationship with you, and that is why she almost walked away that night. But she had a need and you were willing and the rest is history (or should I say herstory).
My only word of caution to you is that you don’t get your hopes up. You sound like you have a firm grip on reality here but sometimes the emotions can overcome logic, so be careful. She may or may not ask you out again and who knows what will become of her marriage? You had two wonderful nights with this woman whom you admire and if nothing else ever happens, you will always have the memories and the experience.
I am sure there are other Jane’s out there, but ones who are not married. So while you continue to strive to serve Jane and to be at her beckon call, do not neglect your own social life. There are other career women out there who are seeking a man who will support them and serve them and romance them. I do wish you all the best.
*** Note - More Real Life Experiences in the November/December Edition of "Predominant".
