Questions on How To Introduce the Female Domination Lifestyle To A Wife or Girlfriend
Q. Ms Sutton, I am dating a woman that is a natural dominant. I have slowly introduced her to this lifestyle, and she has taken to it pretty well. I started out by treating her like a lady. You know, holding doors open for her, doing chores for her, etc. Than I began to give her back and foot rubs. I even sucked on her toes with my mouth when I rubbed her feet. Next, when we have sex I always pull her on top and I am always orally servicing her. I am constantly telling her that she is superior to men and that I love to serve her.
Now I want to go to the next step. I want to introduce her to some advance D&S stuff. I want her to wear leather and I want her to spank and discipline me. However, I am afraid that she will reject it and thus reject me. How would you recommend that I introduce some of the more advance stuff to her?
A. It sounds like you are doing a great job so far. Your approach is the best approach for a man who is trying to introduce this lifestyle to a woman. You have to crawl before you can run. By taking small steps, you are allowing her dominant nature to slowly come forth. Now I hope that you are planning to marry her, since you are having sex with her. To introduce her to more advance stuff, I would recommend the following.
First, buy her some leather clothes. Start out with a leather skirt or a pair of leather pants. Tell her how seeing her in leather attracts you to her and how it makes you feel submissive toward her. This should open up a discussion about dominance and submission.
Next, give her some literature about the female domination lifestyle. Nothing too graphic or advanced. I would recommend "The Sexually Dominant Woman, a workbook for nervous beginners" by Lady Green. Also, surf the web together and show her some female domination web sites, like mine. Show her the WHAP web site and buy her some of their magazines. If she is a natural dominant as you say, she will take to this lifestyle fairly quick.
If she doesn't, give her room to grow. Don't shove it down her throat and continue to serve her as you have been. If you will concentrate on being the best submissive that you can, her dominant nature will eventually come out and take charge.
Q. Ms. Sutton, I am a 28 year old married male. I am very submissive yet have never been to a dominatrix or had a truly powerful female in my life (besides my mother). I am married to an extremely wonderful woman who I am truly in love with. Unfortunately she completely disagrees with my way of thinking. Although there have been a few times that we have fantasized and I have seen a sparkle in her eye and an extra wetness between her legs. In reality my wife very much tries to be in control of me and always tries to change me to her liking. But when I bring this up and ask her if we can step this up to another level she always refuses. Anyway, I am in such a bind because I don't want to go to a professional but at the same time I don't see that I have a choice. I ache on a daily basis for my wife to be this woman. I ache to serve and to pleasure her. I guess I am looking for advice. I don't know where else to turn or what to do. I don't want to cheat on her and at the same time I don't want to continue living aching the way I do. I don't want any other woman as I have the woman that I want to worship at home. If there is anything you can say or do that may help me, I look forward to hearing from you.
A. Your situation is most common among married submissive men. On my site there is an article titled "How to Introduce the Female Domination lifestyle to your Wife" You probably have already read it but I would advise that you study it until its meaning sinks in. A woman such as your wife has a dominant nature lying dormant within her. It must be slowly and patiently seduced and drawn out of her. You do this by serving her and submitting to her within your current relationship in a way that is pleasing to her. Doing chores for her, giving her foot and body massages, and being romantic might not be your submissive fantasy but by doing these things you will stir that dominant nature within her so that she will warm up to the other more advanced D&S stuff that you desire. This may take some time depending on her personality and upbringing.
Most men fail at this because they expect instant results. They bring up the topics of D&S and Female Domination far too soon, before their wife is ready to embrace it. My article addresses this. It is all based on your attitude. Serving your wife and fulfilling her needs can be very fulfilling for you even if she doesn't spank you or wear leather. Until she openly embraces the stuff that you desire, learn to channel your submissive desires into serving her. She might not know what is going through your mind as you do chores or give her massages but it will stir both your submission and her dominance.
As far as going to see a Pro Dom is concerned, that may be an option if you can square it with your conscience. If you have some serious doubts about it, then I would not do it. The biggest problem that most wives have if they find out that their husband has seen a Dominatrix is about the money. Once they come to understand that no sex takes place with a Dominatrix, most women tend to not feel that they were cheated on. However, they still feel hurt about being deceived and about the fact that their husband spent big bucks on another woman. My advice to you would be that if you feel that you must experience D&S with a leather clad Dominatrix while you are patiently seducing your wife's dominant nature, you should earn extra income on the side to pay for this visit. For each dollar you spend on the Pro Dom, earn an equal amount of extra cash to spend on your wife via gifts or a romantic night out. Also do your research and make sure you find a quality Dom that will explore your desires in a safe and sane manner. A quality professional Dom is really a sex therapist and not a prostitute. However, there are former prostitutes that now advertise as Pro Doms because of the threat of STD's. Do your homework before you visit one, if you visit one. Again, if your conscience bothers you about seeing one behind your wife's back, then don't do it. Living with the guilt will not be worth 90 minutes of submissive fulfillment.
Q. Dear Ms. Sutton, I skimmed through all of Your Q&A pages and read a good deal of it. You are so knowledgeable and I would greatly appreciate Your advice.
I have attempted to bring out my Wife's superior nature. I know it is there because she has on occasion demonstrated it. She is quite inhibited however and when I am subservient it turns her off. She tells me she does not want that type of attention and that she does not want a relationship in which she is superior because she cannot look at me as a man if I am to be her servant. We have young kids and recently went on vacation. She spent her days sunning herself by the pool and shopping while I did things with the kids. I thought this a wonderful way to serve her but she did not see it that way but rather as my responsibility to be with the kids because I don't see them as much as she does normally. The fact that I really did not have any relax time and was making sacrifices for her got lost. I did have a great time but I do find this frustrating.
You make it seem quite reasonable and simple when you explain your philosophies but I do not know how to get this across to my wife. She has also let me know that if she is to look at me as inferior to Her it makes her want someone else, as I am not what a man should be. To be honest I would accept this as I subscribe to the belief that she is superior and it should be all about her and whatever makes her happy is what is important. As I mentioned, I read a lot of Your Q&A and You mention when people feel as my wife does, that what I am feeling is not at all abnormal. Thank You for Your wisdom.
A. My website is indeed based on my philosophy and my beliefs. I am glad to hear that you agree with them but not all people do, and that includes women. I wish that they did because I truly believe that they would enjoy more fulfilling lives but people do have free wills and thank God we live in a country where we all can live according to our beliefs and philosophies.
My article "How To Introduce Your Wife" is intended to give practical advice and to be used as a guideline to help husbands to seduce their wives dormant dominant nature. It is intended to be a help and a guideline but it is not gospel. Not every woman is the same so that is why I list various activities that husbands can use to seduce and hopefully stir their wives dominant natures. Unfortunately, some women are inhibited greatly from fulfilling their dominant potential because of being programmed since childhood by a male dominated society. Some women feel secure with the notion that a strong man is protecting them and providing for them. There is nothing wrong with this as long as the husband does not use a woman's false security to control her.
Your challenge is to serve your wife with a submissive and worshipful attitude without upsetting her beliefs of what a marriage relationship should be. Always keep in mind that a true submissive exists to make his superior lady happy and fulfilled. It is living a sacrificial life and part of that sacrifice may be that your wife will never engage in the D&S activities that you desire or talk openly about being superior to you or dominating you. Yet, a submissive male who worships women should get his fulfillment in serving his Queen and making her happy.
You accomplished that when you watched the kids while she lounged around sunning herself. What does it matter if she views it as being your husbandly duties and not an act of submission? The bottom line is that she is dominating you by expecting you to do these things for her and you submitted to her wishes. The scene of her sunning herself while you served her is a beautiful Female Domination scene. Continue that kind of sacrificial service to your wife and you may indeed see her becoming more dominant in time. Trust me, your submission will stir her dominance but don't ruin it by telling her what your motivation is.
Obviously she does not respond to such talk because of her beliefs and upbringing. Your challenge is to find out what she does respond to and your responsibility is in making sure that she is happy. If you will make her happy and fulfilled, you will be happy and fulfilled. Worship her in your mind and in your heart but be careful how you approach the subject of female domination and female superiority. She doesn't want to hear such phrases because they trigger a negative image in her mind. It is a wrong image but it is nonetheless imbedded in her mind. Your challenge is to bypass her negative image by approaching your servitude in a manner that fits comfortable within her belief system and her philosophy. Take care and keep up the good work in submitting to your wife.
Q. Ms Sutton, I am conflicted and I was hoping that you could help me. I have been truly blessed with a wonderful wife and a great marriage. We have so much to be thankful for. We are in love, we are prosperous and we both enjoy good health. I should be a very satisfied husband but there is a familiar pulling within me that causes me to be conflicted.
I have this very strong desire to be ruled by a woman. This desire has been present with me my entire adult life and I have wrestled with it. I have called phone services for domination behind my wife's back and I have been tempted to visit a Pro Dom. I feel terrible about this because I do not want to do anything behind my wife's back.
I first discovered your site about a year ago and it gave me hope. I used your wise advice and attempted to serve my wife like a Queen with the hope that it might cause her to desire to dominate me. I must say that I have seen some pleasant results, as she has loved being pampered by me. I have even become so excited from serving her that I confessed my submissive desires toward her when she asked me why I have been so subservient toward her. She was open to this to a point and she agreed to take D&S into the bedroom to spice up our sex lives. This has been great but I desire for it to be real.
I have mentioned to her about making our marriage a 24/7 FemDom relationship but she is dead set against that. She says we have a 50/50 marriage that is based on love and she does not want to jeopardize that all in the name of one of my fantasies. She is more than willing to continue to play "some" D&S games in the bedroom but when I bring up my strong submissive desires to her, she tells me that I need to live in the real world.
Ms Sutton, I even showed her your site one time but she did not get past the words "Female Superiority" when she refused to read on. She says that she could never see herself as superior to me and she lectured me on how these sites are not real but they only play to men's sexual fantasies.
That is why I am so conflicted. I have a great wife who is open enough to experiment with some light forms of D&S in the bedroom. But there is this part of me that has a hunger to be totally ruled by a woman. To me it is neither a game nor a fantasy. It is a very intense and strong desire that does not go away. I've tried to ignore it and to suppress it most of my life but it seems to be getting stronger. I love my wife and do not want to harm my healthy marriage by pressing my wife too hard. What should I do? Your profile says that you counsel men like myself. Any advice?
A. You can't force another person to become what you desire them to be. To do so, would be an act of dominance and not an act of submission. You have successfully seduced your wife's dominant nature and have drawn it out of her. Thus, she has agreed to dominate you some in the bedroom. Don't take that lightly. That is a wonderful gift you have been given.
She loves to be pampered by you outside of the bedroom and she likes to dominate you in the bedroom. That sounds like the makings of a 24/7 FemDom relationship, even if your wife is not willing to go in the direction that you desire. You can make it a 24/7 FemDom relationship by serving your wife, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Serving means that you prefer her and place her needs and wants above yours. You are being selfish and dominant if you expect her to only dominate you in a manner that fulfills your fantasies. That is why her growth as a dominant female has not gone beyond what it is now. She needs to feed off of your true submission and not off of your submissive fantasies. There is a huge difference.
Your wife has been programmed since childhood a certain way and it is not easy to overcome traditions and societies expectations. To her, life is not a game but it is serious business. When you talk about being her slave all of the time, this concerns her because she doesn't want a full time slave but rather a submissive husband. She might not use the term submissive husband but she wants and needs a husband and she enjoys it when you pamper her and serve her.
Some women feel that they must have a strong man in their life to help shoulder the responsibilities in life. Your wife sounds like that kind of woman. When she hears you confess to her that you want to be her slave, she hears that you want her to shoulder all the responsibility while you retreat into your fantasy world. That may not be what you mean but that is what she is hearing. She has discovered that she enjoys your submission and she enjoys dominating you but it has to fit within her belief system of what a marriage should be.
So if you want a 24/7 FemDom relationship, then you need to serve your wife and be placing her needs above yours. Submission is yielding to her desires. She desires for you to be a husband that shoulders your share of the responsibility. You can do that and also pamper her by treating her like a Queen. If she does not want you to wear a collar and to grovel before her each time she comes home, then don't expect it. If she does not want to discipline you in order for you to do chores for her, then don't expect it. She wants you to do chores for her willingly and she also wants you to pamper her willingly.
If you serve her in a manner that she desires, it will cause her dominant nature to grow and she will be more dominant with you in the bedroom. In time, she may take the initiative to bring some of the D&S outside of the bedroom. I have seen it happen but she must be the one who initiates it, not you. You are the submissive and you exist to serve her however she desires to be served.
I know you have strong submissive desires and there are many D&S activities that you want to explore with your wife. That may or may not come in time. But if you channel your submissive energy into the sacrificial servitude of your wife, you will experience submissive fulfillment and this will cause her dominance to grow. You got ahead of yourself and showed her my site before she was ready to see it. She is not there yet. So be patient and enjoy what you have with your wife. You are a truly blessed man so count those blessings and show your gratitude by increasing your efforts in serving your superior wife in a manner that she can appreciate and enjoy.
Q. As a man, I would first like to thank you for the information I have read on your site. I have found it very comforting to know that I'm not some sort of pervert. After reading much of your site I now believe I can at least focus on my submissiveness. For years I was lead to believe there was something wrong with the way I was thinking.
I'm very much in Love with my wife of now 14 years, and though we had dabbed a little in the bedroom with role playing etc. I've never been satisfied with just that. I have on many occasions performed orally on her & have gotten her comfortable with denying me any pleasure in return. I don't know if I'm at your level, or some of your readers level. You see, most of the time my wife does want me inside her after I bring her to orgasm. I started this by telling her one evening that she was tired that I wanted to do this just for her. My goal now is to take this to another level. I do admit that the idea of cuckolding does excite me. I also believe that the brain is the strongest sex tool we can enhance. Thus, I say the "Idea" of cuckolding excites me. I'm not stupid though, I am married to a very attractive woman. And I know that there are plenty of opportunities for her. In fact, I've in the past purchased condoms for her to keep in her purse, and have asked her, please do not fall in Love with anyone just have unemotional sex. Which, she tells me she can not do.
Now, I know you said you there is a dominant side of every woman, though my wife has been able to play a little its been hard fought. See, she says it's not in her nature. I guess I'm asking for a bit
much, I'd like you to give me the magic word to make everything fall into place, but even I know that this can't be. I've taken to helping her out around the house a little more, and I've shown her your web site, but of course all she saw was the negative features in her eyes, such as the woman that has 3 children from different fathers and the kids know their arrangement. Right away she says she could never respect a man like this, and I have to agree with her when she says she can't Love someone she doesn't respect. How do you suggest we straddle this line?
A. So when your wife eats at a buffet or a cafeteria, does she eat all that is on the menu? Or does she only select those items that appeal to her while leaving those which do not? I ask this because if she was offended by one story, she should not disregard the entire lifestyle.
Encourage your wife by serving her in ways that are pleasing to her. Show her the benefits of this lifestyle and not so much the kinky things. The kinky stuff can come later but to most women, the idea of a man serving her needs is what is most appealing about this lifestyle. It sounds like you are going about this in the right way with helping her around the house. But talking about cuckolding and the more advanced stuff is not wise at this time. If you showed her my site, why not ask her to show you a story that excited her? Forget about what excites you or what turns her off. Have her show you a story that excites her and then begin to serve her in a similar manner. This will give you an idea of where her dominance is and will give you an idea on how to draw it out.
Keep in mind that true submission is in serving your wife in ways that are pleasing to her. Put her needs first and you will begin to draw out her dominance. It may take time and it may not manifest itself in ways that you desire, but if you would be willing to serve her how she likes to be served, then you will find that she will be more open to this lifestyle.
Q. This question would be of interest to the majority of your readers and fan club. I was wondering about the relationships of those vanilla couples where the male (often after many years) has confessed his sub tendencies to his unsuspecting Wife. Obviously the relationship is fundamentally affected from this moment onwards, and as you know, the majority of us subs do not dare to
take this risk.
My question relates to the post confession period, what percentage of Females (in your opinion) are so shocked and horrified that the relationship is terminally affected? Furthermore if it is true that a majority of females accept their husband's "kink" and subsequently learn to enjoy their new-found dominant positions (especially out of the bedroom) then what percentage of males regret ever having confessed? As there is no going back once the "Genie is out of the bottle" then the relationship is terminally affected once again.
A. Obviously whenever a man confesses to his wife that he desires to be in submission to her, the relationship is going to be forever changed in some capacity. That change may be minor or it may be major. That change may be positive or it may be negative. It will depend on the people involved, how the man approaches the subject with his wife and how open-minded she is to this subject. Some couples have such strong marriages that they can discuss any subject openly and honesty. Other couples have fragile marriages where the least amount of discord can mushroom into a major altercation. Then you need to factor in the woman's upbringing, her outlook on society and her religious beliefs. All of these things are factors and each of these factors can play a role in how a woman will receive such a revelation from her husband. A man needs to weigh the price and count the cost before he attempts such a confession. To some men, the risk is well worth it.
It takes courage but you know the old saying, "no guts, no glory." I hear from couples all the time where the man finally confesses to his wife about his desire to submit to her well into their marriage, only to find out that she loves the idea and freely embraces the idea. Then the man kicks himself for waiting twenty or thirty years to tell her when they could have been enjoying this lifestyle long ago. Then there are the men who never confess it to their wives out of fear and live a life of sneaking behind the wife's back to visit Pro Doms. Which is more honorable? To be honest with the woman you have chosen to be your life partner or to sneak around behind her back?
Are there potentially negative consequences to opening up to your wife about your submissive desires? Absolutely. I would be lying if I said that all women embrace such a revelation. Yes, some marriages have been impacted negatively but my question to these couples is this. What kind of a marriage did you have before the confession? Would a woman rather that her husband be honest with her or would she rather that he read pornography behind her back and sneak off to reveal this part of his personality to another woman? Would a man be happier suppressing these submissive desires, fantasizing about other women and keeping this big part of his nature hidden from the woman he loves or would he rather take that chance and be true to himself and his wife?
I can't give you percentages because I don't keep percentages. I can tell you that there are a lot of happy marriages today because a man had the courage to introduce the Female Domination lifestyle to his wife. My perspective is undoubtedly altered because I tend to mostly hear about the success stories. People are eager to write me when this lifestyle has been a blessing. I sometimes hear of negative experiences but not very often. Men I have counseled in person tend to be no different than men who read my site. I encourage men to introduce female domination to their wives by carefully seducing their dominant nature through genuine submission and servitude. However, I do not force men to do this because they must make the decision whether they are ready for the consequences or not. Some men have the courage to take that step but other men are afraid to take that step. I do not fault these men because some women are better candidates than others.
I really believe that all women can be brought into this lifestyle but I also am realistic that some women will never allow themselves to overcome their upbringing or societal programming. A husband knows his wife better than I do. I can encourage a man and give him the best approach but he must make that decision. My only advice to those who are afraid is this. Nothing will ever change if you do not take that chance.
Do some men regret that they introduced this lifestyle to their wives because their wives take them deeper into submission than they wanted to go? It has happened but that is not usually the case. I tell men to be careful what they wish for because it might come true. If a man is going to take this step, he needs to accept the consequences. There is a good chance that once the woman embraces her dominant side, she will want to take it out of the bedroom. Most men do not have a problem with this. While some men do not like losing total control, their submissive nature loves it so the pluses usually out weigh the minuses for these men. I get letters all the time from men expressing concerns about demands their wives are making on them or expressing concerns that their wives are going too far. Yet, in almost all of these kind of letters the man will also write that he does not want to go back and that he is happier with the current relationship than he was in the pre-FemDom relationship.
I do not feel sorry for men whose wives have taken them deeper in submission than they wanted to go. There are so many men out there that want such a relationship that the men who are in such a relationship should count their blessings. Nothing in life is perfect. Marriage is not perfect. Our careers are not perfect. Our families are not perfect. We have good days and bad days in all of these areas. Female Domination is no different. If a man musters the courage to introduce this lifestyle to his wife, than he needs to muster the courage to see it through all the way. He needs to surrender to her authority for only than will he reap the true benefits of submissive fulfillment.
Q. Dear Ms. Sutton, Thank you so much for your Web site. I have been viewing Web sites oriented towards the Female Dominant for several years and yours is the first to help me sort out my feelings regarding the Female Dominant lifestyle. I have read your comments on how to seduce my wife with my submission and that has struck a chord with me.
My question for you is this. I am conflicted over the idea of my submissive nature vis-a-vis reality versus fantasy. I have strong desires for submission based on my fantasy life, yet when it comes down to the reality of actually submitting to a female, the desire fades. In fact, many years ago I explored Female Domination through several visits to professional Dominatrixes and although these were exciting (in fact one of them was actually quite good at it) the excitement eventually faded. I believe that these experiments convinced me that the fantasy was more important to me than the reality. That is why I am continually drawn to the subject, yet have not taken any further action to make it into a reality for me. What insight do you have for me that might help me understand this conflict I have between the fantasy desire and the unfulfilling reality.
A. It is important for men to stay grounded in reality as they pursue their fantasies. Some D&S desires grow beyond reality and it would be unrealistic to pursue them and still function as a productive and fulfilled human being. I've addressed this issue before (see my response to Jeremy's story under Extreme Desires in the Real Stories section). I would have to hear details about your fantasies in order to comment on the Fantasy vs. Reality question. Many FemDom fantasies can be incorporated into a person's life in a healthy and fulfilling manner.
The individual fantasies are not as important as the root of those fantasies. That is what you need to come to terms with. If you fantasize about being dominated by women, while the expression of those fantasies might grow beyond reality, the core desire to submit to the female gender is both common and natural. Your fantasies do not come from nowhere but they reflect your submissive desires trying to find fulfillment. Deep down, you want to submit to a woman and from your opening sentence, I would guess that you want to submit to your wife.
Your problem is that you do not want to empower her for fear of losing control. You want to engage in your fantasies in a way where you can return to your current relationship with your wife. The Professional Domme affords you that option. However, deep down you know you want more. You wonder, "what would it be like to submit to a woman in reality?" You are continually drawn to the subject of Female Domination because you want to experience more. Your submissive nature will only grow stronger over time. The more you suppress it, the stronger it will become.
Therefore, I would advise that instead of just reading my advice on seducing your wife's dominant nature, I would suggest that you do it. Fantasy vs. Reality will not be a problem if you take my advice because in seducing your wife's dominant nature, you must focus on her needs and desires (and fantasies) and not so much on your fantasies. By genuinely submitting to a woman, you will find true submissive fulfillment and you will discover that Female Domination can be an ever present reality.
Q. I am grateful for your site and submit the following question with sincere humility. I ask only because I continue to struggle with the idea of confronting my wife with my submissive nature.
Your site contains many stories from men that have successfully introduced the concept of female domination to their wives or girlfriends. Do you also receive letters from men that have followed your advice to the letter and still have been rejected when they finally confronted their wives with the motivation behind their change in behavior?
A. Occasionally and I have posted some of these letters on my site. I have explained that my approach is the best approach but there are no guarantees. We are all unique individuals with different upbringings and societal outlooks. My article "How To Introduce Your Wife" is intended to give practical advice and to be used as a guideline but it is not gospel. Not every woman is the same so that is why I list various activities that husbands can use to seduce and hopefully stir their wives dominant natures. Unfortunately, some women are inhibited greatly from fulfilling their dominant potential because of being programmed since childhood by a male dominated society. Your wife has a free will and depending on her upbringing and life experiences, she may be open-minded about FemDom or she may be closed minded about any type of alternative lifestyle.
That is why I stress the need to seduce a woman's dominant nature through genuine male servitude. It is always best to show a woman who is not very open-minded about sexuality the benefits of FemDom first. Let her experience the many benefits of a husband who exists to meet her needs. Seduce her dominance and stir that Tigress within by first submitting to her in the domestic and social areas before you approach her about the sexual areas of FemDom.
Doing chores for her, giving her foot and body massages, and being romantic might not be your submissive fantasy but by doing these things you will stir that dominant nature within her so that she will warm up to the other more advanced D&S stuff that you desire. This may take some time depending on her personality and upbringing.
Now if your wife is a very open-minded woman who is uninhibited sexually, you may be able to approach her more directly about your submissive nature and your desire to submit to her in the bedroom. But even in these cases, it is still best to show a woman the benefits of FemDom before you introduce her to the so-called kinky stuff. A woman's true dominant nature needs to be seduced and drawn out by a man's submission and servitude. Even a so-called kinky female still needs to have her dominant nature cultivated by your submission, otherwise FemDom may only be a game to her and will never become a lifestyle. If your wife is open-minded and if she seems to be responding to your submission, then I would recommend getting her my book.
Might she reject this lifestyle? It is possible because she does have a free will but if you never attempt to introduce it to her, how will she ever embrace it? Nothing will ever change if you are bound by a fear of rejection. She is your wife so you should know how to read her moods and her body language. If she seems to be responding favorably to your servitude and submission, then take that chance and give her my book or show her my site or come clean with her about your desire to submit to her. But be wise in your approach and introduce it to her in stages (don't thrust the FemDom lifestyle on a conservative woman all at once). At some point, there will come that opportunity where you need to take that chance and reveal your true nature to your wife. Will it be a gamble? It most surely will but you know what they say, no guts, no glory.
You will reduce that gamble and greatly place the odds in your favor if you use wisdom in your approach. How do you do that? By looking at your approach from her point of view. Don't be self-centered and don't try to manipulate her into being the fulfillment of your fantasy. That is a sure road to failure. Ask yourself, how can I please her and serve her in ways that she will enjoy? How can I show her the benefits of FemDom and make this lifestyle to her liking? If you'll truly place her needs ahead of yours and develop the attitude that you want to introduce her to FemDom because of how it will benefit her, you will greatly increase your odds for success.